


Working it out

by Ruby_slippers



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Dads and daughters, Falling In Love, Fluff, Love, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 35,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27263800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruby_slippers/pseuds/Ruby_slippers
Summary: Who is this new guy? Ben was floored, he was gorgeous and it was so unexpected.Callum, the new guy, nervous and excited to be starting a new job. What he wasn’t expecting was to meet some gorgeous either!Was it love at first sight? Are they both single? And how could they remain professional?An AU story set in an office, the world of work…
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 88
Kudos: 210





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s his first day, so can everyone try to be nice please yeah?” Lo was sat at her desk looking nervous. The room had 2 rows of 6 desks, 3 each side facing each other.  
Opposite her Ben sat with his head down typing, as Jay lifted his head from the row of desks behind him.

“Lo, stop worrying I’m sure he’ll fit in just fine” Jay flashed her a smile.

“It’s not you I’m worried about” Lola looked over at Ben sat at his desk smirking. “What do ya mean?” Ben said trying to look innocent.

“Hmm” Lola said.

“I’m going to nip to the loo, Jay, do us a favour yeah? Answer my phone if it rings? He should be here soon.”

“Sure”

“I don’t know why she’s so worried” Ben said turning to face Jay as Lo left the room. “From what she said he sounded alright to me”

“It’s always the same when someone is new” Jay said back to him “Don’t you remember when Ash started? She just wants them to fit in and for everyone to like them”

“It will be fine” Ben said as he turned back to his computer.

Lola’s phone started ringing, “Here we go” Jay said dashing over to her desk and picking it up “Hello. Yep, he’s here? Ok. I’ll let her know. Cheers”

Lola appeared back from the ladies, still looking nervous. “Lo, reception called, he’s downstairs.” Jay said.

“Ok I’ll go and get him.” She said taking a deep breath, preparing herself.

“Chill out Lo, it’ll be fine” Jay said smiling again.

As Lola returned to office, Ben continued to look down at his computer, engrossed in an email from the marketing team, up to something they shouldn’t be and doing their usual, running back for help when they got themselves a bit stuck. He was annoyed, they were always doing this!

Lola approached his desk.

“Ben, this is Callum.” Ben turned around to look at Lola. Behind her he could see a tall, fair haired guy looking down, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot. As the man looked up to face him, Ben felt the air fall out of his lungs and his heart pound, he was stunned by a pair of striking blue eyes. Jesus, he thought, he’s fit. 

“Er, hi” Ben said rising to his feet and put his hand out, which Callum took and shook.

“Great to meet you, er, welcome” Ben continued.

“Hi, great to meet you” Callum said gently squeezing Ben’s hand.

“So” Lola said turning back to Callum “you’ll be on the desk here next to Ben, if you want to take a seat let’s see if we can get you logged on. I’ve been sent your details, they are here on this piece of paper” She said handing it to him.

“Yeah, we even managed to get you a laptop ready in time” Ben turned to Callum smiling side on. Callum shyly smiled back. Ben felt his heart flip, gorgeous smile as well.

Typing in his details, the computer unlocked for Callum, his home screen coming to life. “Great! That’s the first challenge over with” Lola said. “Ok, so I have an induction schedule planned for you, you’ll get to meet all the team, and key members of the company that we work with all the time. But I reckon for now, we need to get the important bits done. I’ve got a quick 30 minute meeting so I’m going to leave you here with Ben, he can show you around a bit, where the gents are, where the kitchen is and if you are lucky, he might even make you a cuppa. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Ben spun on his chair to the side to face Callum, he could feel that his hands were clammy and his pulse was still racing, but he was determined to pull himself together, putting on his most professional and friendly smile, he turned to Callum and said “Right, let’s have a little tour shall we? Then we can go and have a quick cuppa.”

“Great” Callum flashed a smile.

Ben just about held in a blush.

“So, er, here is obviously our bit of the office. So you know this is your desk and our whole team sits here when they are in. But not everyone is in the office all the time, today it’s gonna be a bit quiet as it’s a Monday and most people are working from home.”

“Oh right” 

“Don’t worry though, it’s a nice bunch, everyone’s really friendly and a good laugh, we all get on. You’ll like it, I’m sure” Ben smiled.

“So” Ben continued, standing up “the gents are on the left there” he pointed over to the toilet door.

“Ok” Callum said. 

“And” Ben said walking out of the room, Callum following him “There’s the kitchen on the right, but we’ll go in there in a bit.”

“Ok” Callum said again.

“So, on this floor with us, are Finance, they are down here on the left with our IT teams and Legal” Ben said as he carried on walking, “And over here is Corporate sales, the inhouse admin team for the field sales guys. I think that you should have some time with Whitney, she’s their team leader. Hey Whit” he waved as they passed by, she smiled and waved back.

“And then around this corner are our Consumer sales, so these guys just deal with joe public. Hey Chantelle” A very pretty girl looked up and smiled and waved at Ben.

“Right, do you want to go upstairs?”

“Yeah, great”

Ben took the pass off from around his neck and held it up to the sensor at the door, the beeping of the pass being recognised leading to a clunking sound as the door unlocked, they headed out into the stairwell and up the stairs.   
Ben then held his pass up to the sensor at the door in front of them, beeping in again to unlock the door of the floor above. “In here are the Marketing teams, all of them.   
“Hi guys” he shouted out, a few of them looked up from their computers smiled and waved back “So we have Corporate and Consumer Marketing teams, our Digital teams, and Data teams. I think you’re with them at the back end of the week.”

He continued to walk through the room, with Callum following. “And at the end here are the Buyers. I think that you have some time with Kat this week as well”

“Hey Kat!” He said as they walked passed.

“Benjamin!” Smiled a jet black haired woman in a very bold leopard print top.

“Right ok” Callum said, nervously smiling at her.

“Ok, let’s go back to reception for a bit and I can show you around the ground floor, then back up to our floor for a cuppa yeah?”

“Sure”

“Fancy a quick trip in the lift?”

Callum smiled.

Stepping out of the lift on the ground floor Ben continued his tour. “Of course, this is reception, you know that. Hey Tony!” He said to the security guard. 

“Ben, you alright?”

“Yeah, fine thanks mate, you?”

“Yeah, yeah, you know me, always alright” he smiled. “Nice to see you again, Callum isn’t it?”

“Yeah” Callum smiled, it was nice that he knew someone. “Ben’s just showing me around.”

“Ah nice, well if you need anything I’m here every day so just pop down or call 0 on your phone ok?”

“Great, thanks” Callum said.

“So, behind reception.” Ben carried on walking past Tony, “Are the meeting rooms, you can book them on email. We have 5, they do get quite booked up so we often just do quick catch ups in the booths in the kitchen, I’ll show you them in a sec, and also back here is the board room, only the pa’s can book this room, and the Director’s office. So they are all in there, our director Nick, is the Commercial Director, so he’ll be in there. They are all pretty approachable and I’d take you in, but they always have a meeting this time on a Monday so we can’t disturb them. Anyway I think you have a quick meeting with him at 11, so you can chat to him then. He’s a nice guy, good sense of humour and that, my friend is it. Let’s head back upstairs, have a sit down and a cuppa”

Back upstairs in the kitchen, Ben showed Callum where the mugs and glasses were, the fridge with the milk in, the cupboard with the tea, coffee, hot chocolate, sugar and squash is kept, “it’s all supplied so you don’t need to bring anything.” And the dishwashers. “Just leave your mugs and that on the side and the cleaners will take it from there, they don’t like us loading the dishwasher and they won’t take it from your desk, but if you leave them neatly piled here, they’ll put everything back in the cupboard ready for the morning.”

“Right, ok” Callum said his head a bit of a whirlwind.

“Let’s take a seat, yeah? I hope I haven’t bamboozled you too much” Ben flashed a smile as they sat down.

Callum felt quite overwhelmed, first day nerves, mixed with excitement. He had been looking forward to joining this company. His old one was quite a toxic and negative place to be, too many blokes and not in a good way. No eye candy, but lots of testosterone and they were all totally threatened by the fact that he was gay, terrified that he was going to jump them at any time. They wished! And the work was boring, he was project managing and nothing moved forward, they seemed to live off a ‘we’ll do it tomorrow’ philosophy, where tomorrow never came! He had only lasted 8 months and was so pleased when this job came up, back to working in Product Management and in a proper team, working for a proper company. He already felt really welcome, Lola seemed like a nice boss and this Ben guy seemed great, helped that he was proper fit too, although Callum was trying hard not to get distracted by that. First day, need to make a good impression, and anyway he didn’t even know if he was gay, he had a feeling that he was though, or maybe that was actually a hope! Well he’d just have to wait and see.  
As he sat in a booth in the kitchen with Ben opposite, they chatted more, Callum trying hard not to stare too hard into Ben’s gorgeous blue eyes. Ben asked lots of questions about where Callum worked before and why he had left, a great opportunity to sense check his gay radar!

“So yeah, just a bunch of idiots really, completely full of themselves, you know all lads together crap, and they all thought that I fancied them, I mean hardly! No one there was even remotely fit”

“Been there mate, know what you mean, straight guys huh!” Ben chuckled and rolled his eyes.

Aha Callum thought.

“Anyway” Callum said holding in a smile. “The work was so slow and dull, no one there really had any desire to get anything done, and I was just so bored.”

“Well, you don’t need to worry about that here, we’ve got work coming out of our arse, and everyone wants everything yesterday, so you won’t be getting bored.” Ben laughed.

Lola appeared around the side of the booth.

“Ah, there you guys are, everything ok?” She smiled at Callum.

“Yep, Ben’s given me the whistle stop tour.” Callum smiled over at him.

“Great, thanks Ben” Lola said, turning to look at Callum “I’m free now, so if you want to carry on with our induction?” Lola continued.

“Sure, I’ll leave you to it” Ben said, standing up “I’ll catch you guys later”

“Thanks Ben” Callum said, trying desperately to not allow his eyes to look at Ben’s tight ass as he walked away, with an epic fail. He looked quickly at Lola hoping that she hadn’t noticed, fortunately she was looking at something on her laptop screen. 

“Right, so I’ve got a few bits for us to go through, hopefully this will all make a bit of sense, and it will get easier as it goes along. I’ve got lots to show you to get you up to speed, we’re all so glad you are here.”

“Thanks” Callum smiled, trying hard to focus on Lola, and not on the warmth that he suddenly noticed disappearing in the pit of his stomach, going with the person now walking out of the kitchen in those tight sexy trousers.


	2. Chapter 2

After an hour going through the company intranet and other internal documents, Lola and Callum returned back to their desks. Lola sat opposite Ben, and there was a spare seat next to hers, with another seat next to Callum and a guy at the seat opposite that one.

This guy rose from his seat as Callum returned back to the bank of desks “Hi, Callum is it?” he said holding out his hand which Callum took to shake “Yeah”

“I’m Ash, nice to meet you” 

“You too” Callum said sitting back at this desk.

“So Callum” Lola said returning to her seat “Is your computer still working?”

Callum tried his log in details again and the laptop again came back to life. “Yep, all good”

“Phew!” she smiled at him. “Ben, has Nick been about?”

“Na not yet” Ben said “Callum is with him at 11 isn’t he?”

“Oh yes, he’s got 30 mins” Lola said, looking at her watch.

“He’ll be late anyway” Ben chuckled “you know what he’s like, bet he’s already running behind!”

“Yeah” she laughed.

“I’ve got a few bits you can read through while you wait if you like?” Ben said turning to Callum. “I’ve emailed you some info on the project I’m working on, it’s the app strategy and the early reports we’ve got on engagement and interaction. That ok Lo?”

“Yeah great, cheers Ben”

Callum settled more comfortably into his chair and looked at his emails. There were 5 from Ben.

“Hopefully they are self-explanatory” Ben said moving his chair over closer to Callum and leaning over to look at his screen. He smelt amazing and Callum felt his lungs freeze as he tried to breathe with Ben that close to him, his shoulders and neck tightening, wow this guy really did have an effect on him and they had only just met. Callum had to find out if he was single, and fast.

“So I’ve sent the emails in order, the app strategy and the research that we did, the launch plan, the lessons learnt and then current results and the plan for phase 2. Hope it all makes sense, but I’m just here if you’ve got any questions, that ok?” He said as he moved back to his own desk.

“Yeah, sure” Callum said, clearing his throat and trying to act casual, whilst desperately hoping that Ben couldn’t hear the sound of his heart beating that was pumping hard in his ears.   
He opened the first email, there was a PowerPoint presentation attached so he opened that and attempted to focus all his attention on the screen in front of him, he could see Ben furiously typing away to the side of him, quietly chuckling. He must be emailing a mate Callum thought, he seemed to get on well with everyone, probably a popular guy.   
Callum’s mind continued to wander as he thought more about Ben, wondering what time he finished work, was he an early starter, so finished early, or a traditional 9-5er, that would help him understand what he did in his spare time and who with.

“Callum?”

He jumped and turned around to see a middle aged, balding man, dressed in a sharp suit with his hand held out “Nick Parsons, Commercial Director, great to meet you”

As Callum walked away with Nick, Ben felt himself relax. Jesus, Lola had to go and find the most beautiful man in the world to employ and then put him in the seat next to him, and he’s gay, clearly, what was she trying to do to him? He had never felt like this before, he felt like he had been hit with a lightning bolt, the guy was completely stunning, not a bit fit, but simply gorgeous, it was taking every bit of willpower Ben had in him not to jump him right there and then. Leaning across him at his desk had been a major mistake, he smelt amazing and Ben used all his strength to stop his hands from shaking. This was going to be a serious test in his professionalism.  
Looking at the picture of Shane and Lexi on his desk brought him back to Earth. He was settled, in a relationship with a guy that Lexi adored, and after everything he had been through he wasn’t just going to walk away from that, even if, even if, wow, those eyes, those lips, and what an ass…  
No, he was settled, and anyway he didn’t even know if Callum was single. No, god Ben, he thought to himself, get a grip.

Fortunately Callum was gone for over an hour, no great surprise Nick was quite a talker, so Ben was able to slip out for lunch before he came back. Sat in a café, with a cappuccino, chicken salad wrap and packet of crisps in front of him, Ben felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Just Shane…

‘Babe, just had a call from Suzy’s school, she’s walked into a door frame. Apparently just a scrape on her head and she’s been in tears, thinking maybe we should go and get her, can you get out of work?’

Ben sighed. Shane could never cope with anything, not even this basic. Suzy was his daughter that he had with his ex-Marie, when he was pretending to be straight. Strange that Ben would meet another guy who ended up in exactly the same situation as him. Both Suzy and Lexi were 7 and got on really well, thick as thieves which was lovely, and a major factor to Shane’s appeal, maybe the only thing really. But this was typical of Shane, the smallest thing wrong and it was always a big drama, why would they need to go and get her, and why this was even considered to be a job for both of them was beyond him. He text back…

‘Why does she need to be picked up? Is the school asking for her to come home?’

‘No, but I’m worried.’

‘Shane, she’s fine, leave her be, I’ve told her a million times to stop walking into things and look where she’s going’

‘I know, but I hate the thought of her being upset’

‘If you are that worried then text Marie, it’s not our night anyway, so if there’s a problem wouldn’t she want her mum?’

‘I’m going to get her, you don’t mind if we have tonight do you babe?’

‘No of course not, but check with Marie, it is her night. I won’t be home until late remember, I’ve got the gym’

‘Can’t you skip it?’

‘No, look, it would be nice for Suze to have you to herself wouldn’t it?’

‘She loves you’

‘I know, but nothing beats one on one time yeah? I’ll see you later’

‘Ok. Love you xx’

“You too’

Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had told Shane that he loved him. He seemed to be able to get away with ‘you too’ these days and Shane hadn’t really noticed so that was how they bumbled along. Besides if they had Suzy then at least he could get away with not having to do anything with Shane tonight, he had a horrible feeling that his head would be imagining someone else, so it was for the best that he didn’t have to face that.

As Ben headed back into the office, he was relieved to see that Callum was now sat with Ash who was showing him something on screen. Looking at his diary he realised that he was in meetings all afternoon from 2, and was planning to chip off at 4.30 so he wouldn’t have to see Callum for the rest of the day. He was sure after a good night’s sleep he could put this behind him and come back in tomorrow ready for a normal day. Anyway Ruby and Martin would be in tomorrow and Martin was a real laugh so he would be easily distracted from the fit new guy.


	3. Chapter 3

Callum nervously came into the office. Day one had gone well and he liked everyone so far, even the director Nick seemed like a quite chilled out guy. Clearly someone who expected results, but not an ogre and he found the conversation flowed quite easily.  
He was exhausted when he had got home that night. So many names and faces, and he had been shown about 15 organigrams for different departments, he wondered how he would ever keep up. And then there had been Ben, the hot guy who he was sitting next to. That had been an unexpected but rather welcome surprise. He had thought about him a lot that evening, and had fallen asleep imagining his soft touch and falling into those beautiful blue eyes.  
Unfortunately Callum didn’t have his security pass yet so when he arrived in the office that day he couldn’t get in to their desk area without someone coming to reception to get him and let him in, so he headed over to see Tony, the security guard.

“Morning Callum, day two is it?”

“Yeah. Morning. Could you give Lola a call for me please? Don’t have me pass yet so I can’t get in”

“No problem, take a seat and I’ll let them know that you are here”

Callum sat down, hearing Tony dial upstairs. “Someone is going to be down in a minute to get you” he shouted over.

“Great, thanks” Callum said, pulling out his phone to have a quick look at social media as he waited.  
A few moments later he looked up as Ben appeared at the bottom of the stairs smiling broadly at him. “Morning! You came back then?”

Callum looked up, trying desperately to stop the blush spreading over his cheeks, “er, yeah, hi”

“Come on up then” Ben said turning back to walk up the stairs, Callum followed, marvelling in the sight of the beautiful bottom on display in front of him.

As they entered the department the room was a bit more full than yesterday and a guy and girl were sat in 2 seats in the block directly behind Callum’s chair.  
“This is Martin and Ruby” Ben explained “guys this is Callum, he started yesterday.”

“Hi” Ruby said waving, as Martin stood up and shook his hand “welcome”

“They are the dodgy ones in the team” Ben smirked “broke all the rules, our company love birds who got married last year”

“Aw Ben leave ‘em alone” Lola’s voice came over the top of the desk “Morning Callum” she said smiling at him “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of office romance. He’s only pulling your leg Callum, no one in the company minds at all”

“Until they get divorced and it all becomes well awks” Ash added.

“Hilarious you guys” Ruby said. “You see what we have to put up with?” She said jokingly to Callum.

Callum smiled nervously as he took a seat at his desk.

“They just make us all sick” Ash said “Think we’ve all been settled too long to remember that kind of young love!”

Callum felt a punch in his stomach. Was Ben not single then?

“Yeah, you’re such an old married aren’t you?” Martin winked at Ash. “You’ve only been married to Sabrina for 4 years!”

“4 years and 2 kids, it’s a lifetime!” Ash retorted back. “You just wait. I can’t remember the last time she looked at me, like Rubes does you. Well, not when sober anyway” he laughed. “Anyway Callum, what about you? You look far too happy to be chained down like the rest of us? Footloose and fancy free eh?”

“Me?” Callum said sitting down at his desk “yeah, yeah, it’s just me”  
He wasn’t sure but he thought that to the side of him he saw Ben shift slightly in his chair, no, he must have imagined it.

“Come on guys, leave him alone” Lola said. “Right Callum, just ignore them. So today…” she said checking their calendars “you have some time with our research team first. Melanie who heads them up is lovely, great fun, she’ll be over in a bit, and then you’ve got your finance induction with Brad, Mel will take you over there, so that’s you first few hours sorted.”

“Ok great” Callum smiled.

“Then, I’ve just sent you and Ben an email, we’ve just had a new project sent over from Nick, it’s the next stage of our app strategy that’s been approved, we’re going to be launching a new one, it’s for our audiobooks and it needs scoping out and our business requirements planned. It’s a great one for you to start on Callum, and Ben, as it is phase 2 on apps this was going to be partly coming your way anyway, so you can work on it together.”

There was a pause.

Callum could feel the panic rising in his stomach, travelling up his body and landing in his throat.

“That ok with you both?” Lola asked.

“Yeah sure of course Lo” Ben answered.

“Sounds great” Callum said, finally finding his voice.

Fortunately a blonde woman then appeared who Callum assumed was Melanie, she walked straight over to him, a bright smile on her face “Callum? I’m Mel, great to meet you” she said as she put out her hand for Callum to shake.

As Callum wandered off with Mel, Ben felt himself slightly relax. The panic in his head was loud, a project with Callum, just the two of them, planning, scoping it out, just the two of them. He could kill Lola, but she was the boss and he could hardly say no.   
The feelings stirring deep inside were terrifying. He had only just met this guy and in his daydreams he was handing him his heart, moving in with him, touching him, sleeping with him, oh god, this was bad, he couldn’t think like that, he just couldn’t. He was going to have to find a way to bring up Shane in conversation, protect himself, get some distance between them, make it clear that he wasn’t single. But wow when he looked into those eyes he really wished he was…

Fortunately Callum was gone for the whole morning, which gave Ben some time to immerse himself in his emails, and get himself under control.  
Just before lunch he came back to his desk, notepad in hand which he placed back on to his desk. “So” Callum said turning to Ben “any good places around here for lunch?”

Ben felt the knot in his stomach once again. “Er yeah, there’s a good café just down the road that I pop to, the coffee is ok and they just do sandwiches and wraps and stuff, you can er, come with me if you want. I’ll be going in about 5 minutes”

“Great, thanks” Callum smiled at him again.

Oh god, lunch together, Ben thought. Get a grip, get a grip, he screamed at himself in his head. Focus on Shane. He tried to see Shane in his head, in bed, in the shower, but it didn’t help. Shane just didn’t make him feel anywhere near the way this guy did just by sitting next to him. They had never had that kind of relationship, there had never really been any kind of passion, it had always just felt, comfortable, easy. And with the 2 girls there was pressure to create a family, so Ben had gone with it. Accepting that this would do, Lexi and Suzy were happy, and he wasn’t exactly unhappy, but he wasn’t happy either, he was just getting by, ignoring the fact that really he was pretty bored, pretty sad, pretty unhappy.

Ben grabbed his coat, checking his pockets for his wallet. “Ready?” he said turning to Callum.

“Yep” Callum said putting on his coat. 

“Great, let’s go” Ben said walking towards the door.

As they stepped outside of the office, Callum continued talking, but all Ben could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears. Fortunately the café was only a few minutes walk and as they entered he pretended to be distracted by the sandwiches and wraps, knowing that he would have his usual. Callum looked up at the board studying the drinks. “Hope this is ok?” Ben said nervously.

“Yeah, all looks great” Callum said grabbing a cheese and ham sandwich, approaching the counter to order a hot chocolate. “What would you like?” he asked Ben.

“No, it’s ok” Ben replied.

“Ben it’s on me” Callum said reaching over and taking the wrap from Ben’s hand. “so come on, what do you want?”

“Er, a cappuccino, thanks” Ben said.

“And these” Callum said placing the wrap and sandwich on the counter “And, er” he said reaching over to grab 2 packets of salt and vinegar crisps “these ok for you?” he said to Ben.

“Yeah, great”

Turning back to the woman behind the counter he said “these crisps as well”

Ben grabbed the crisps, sandwich and wrap “I’ll get us a table, if you want to wait for the drinks?” he asked Callum.

“Sure” Callum said with a smile turning back to the counter to pay as Ben walked over to the seats.

Callum’s heart was pounding out of his chest. It took all of his strength to stop his hands shaking. He had been rambling on about nothing whilst they had walked over, anything to fill the silence, and he was trying to sound as interesting as possible to Ben, hoping that would make him more appealing. Talking about his trip to the coast a few months ago for his mate Lee’s stag where he went sky diving and paragliding. Hoping that the adrenaline junky was Ben’s type. Then a bit about his brother, you know a rogue with a heart, always there for him, etc. Maybe someone into family was Ben’s type. But Ben didn’t say much, just a polite acknowledgement of the conversation here and there. Impossible to read.  
As Callum watched their drinks being made he wondered if he had been too pushy paying, but he wanted to show his generous side as well. God, this was hard. He had obviously dated guys before, but with Chris and Simon it had seemed so much easier. Maybe because he wasn’t so nervous, and hadn’t felt such incredible sparks straight away. Simon was just a guy he had met on an app, they had casually dated for a bit, but it just fizzled out, he was a nice guy, but just not that exciting. And Chris had been his first love, but like most first loves they had just outgrown each other, and drifted apart. He had heard on the grapevine that Chris was engaged now, he was pleased for him. But this guy, there was just something about him, intriguing, interesting and damn right sexy.

As the drinks arrived, Callum turned and saw that Ben had secured a table for 2 in the far corner in the window. He gave a casual wave so that Callum would seem him as he headed over.

“Here you go” Callum said placing the drinks down.

“Cheers, thanks for lunch, really nice of you” Ben said, giving a gentle smile.

Callum felt his heart flip. “No problem” he said back as casually as possible.   
“So, er how long have you worked here?”

“Just over 7 years”

“Wow! I’ve never worked anywhere longer than 2” Callum laughed as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“Yeah, just sort of happened I guess, I like what I do and before you know it there you are, time flies!” Ben took a sip of his cappuccino.

“The team seem really nice, and I liked Mel she’s hilarious!”

“Yeah she’s great and we’re really lucky having Lo, she’s worked here about 4 years, she took over the team about 18 months ago and it’s been pretty smooth sailing since then. You’ve replaced this guy Riley, he left to move back home, he’s from Liverpool and his dad got ill, it was a real shame he was a nice guy, but of course we’re happy to have you.”

Callum blushed slightly.

“Thanks” he said raising his eyes up to Ben’s.

Shit Ben thought as he heart thumped hard in his chest. Is this what instant chemistry feels like? He looked down at the table at his hand and then at Callum’s. God he was tempted, so tempted to just – 

“Hey guys!” Ruby appeared next to them holding a sandwich and a cup of tea. “Don’t mind if I squeeze in do you?”

Ben felt his insides instantly relax as Ruby joined them breaking the tension. The voice in his head was screaming – what the hell was that?


	4. Chapter 4

By the end of the week Callum was beginning to feel more settled. By lunchtime on Friday he had completed his inductions with most departments and was starting to see how everyone worked together. He was also really conscious that this meant that he was going to be starting on his real work next week and this project with Ben. This both terrified and exhilarated him, deep down he couldn’t wait to get started.  
Sat at their desks, Callum noticed an email popped up from Ben with a meeting invite. Ben turned to him “So I’ve popped some time in our diaries as I thought we’d crack on with the new app work on Monday morning if that’s ok with you?”

“Good plan” Callum smiled at him.

“Cool. We’re er, gonna pop to the pub later if you fancy it? Just a quick Friday pint?”

“Yeah great” Callum turned back to his desk, feeling the electricity flowing through his veins, he was finally going to get to see Ben out of work. Granted the others would be there, but this was progress. He had spent every evening thinking about Ben and trying his best not to allow his imagination to run away too far. He still didn’t know if Ben was single or not, but he was sure he was picking up good signals, there was definitely something between them and it wasn’t all just coming from him.  
He sat there willing the hours to go by, hoping that there was an earlier finish to Friday.

At 4 o’clock, Ash stood up “Right then, that’s enough for this week surely, the public house is calling! Who’s with me?” He looked at Callum “celebrate the end to an amazing first week? You in?”

“Yeah definitely” Callum said with a smile, hitting ‘shut down’ on his laptop. He turned to face Ben “you coming?” he asked heart pounding. Ben turned his head looking directly at Callum smiling “of course”.

The pub was only 5 doors down from the office, and as the team bounded in they took over a couple of tables.   
“Right then, who wants what?” Lola said heading to the bar. “Pints all round for the lads? Wine Rubes? I’m gonna have a Pinot” She said to Ruby as she took a seat next to Martin “yeah cheers Lo”

A chorus of “cheers”, and “yeps” headed Lola’s way.  
“That ok with you Callum?” Lola said.   
“Yeah, great thanks” Callum said taking a seat in between Ben and Ash.   
“So, Callum” Ash said “congrats you have survived your first week with us, how do you feel?”

“Leave him alone Ash” Ruby said, “it’s the weekend, no shop talk.” Ruby turned to Callum “so anything fun planned for the weekend? You must be knackered, I know I was after my first week, so much to remember, loads of people, loads of names”

“My mate’s getting married soon so I’m off to a suit fitting, and then probably a few drinks in town after that.”

“Aw that’s nice, are you best man?” Ruby smiled.

“No, that’s his brother, I’m an usher, and a witness” Callum said.

“I hate being best man” Ben suddenly said beside him. “You’re better off being a witness, loads less pressure.”

“When were you best man?” Martin asked.

“When me dad got married when I was a kid. Never again” Ben said standing up and heading to the gents. Jay had headed to the bar and was starting to carry the drinks over as Lola was paying.

As he returned back to the table Ben’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out looking at it – Shane

‘Are you going to be home soon babe?’

Ben sighed. “Sorry guys, gonna have to go.”

“But I just got you a drink!” Lola said.

“I know sorry Lo, but I’m sure Jay can help me out yeah?” he asked turning to Jay as he stood up. Jay nodding as he took his seat.

“Duty calls huh?” Ash said sympathetically “what’s happened now?”

“Usual stuff. See you all Monday yeah?” Ben said as he grabbed his coat and left.

Callum felt his heart sink. What did that mean? He thought. Must have an other half? He didn’t seem that happy about it, and he hadn’t mentioned anyone when everyone else was mentioning their partners, he wondered why, but he didn’t want to make it obvious how he was feeling, so he kept quiet, realising that he would have to find out about Ben’s situation another day.

Ben arrived home to the usual, Shane in a panic.  
Suzy was running around wild as always. She was a lovely kid, but Shane just couldn’t do discipline and she was often hyper on Friday nights. It was Shane’s own fault, no doubt they had enjoyed some sort of sweet treat on the way home from school, this always happened if Ben went for a quick drink after work and then Shane would overtly indulge her, singing songs, or playfighting and she would then get all hyper and he would be unable to control her summoning Ben home to deal with it. It was a good job that he didn’t have Lexi tonight otherwise it would have been a real nightmare. 

As he came in taking off his coat and shoes Suzy dived at him, a sea of limbs and red hair coming towards him “Bennnnnnnn!”

“Hey Suze, you ok?” 

“Yep” she said jumping up and down. 

“Ok, stop jumping, stand still a mo. Did you have some sweeties with daddy?”

“Yep, we had some smarties and some buttons! Yummmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!!”

“Did you now?” Ben asked glaring at Shane.

“Well she had a long week and had been really good and, well you know” Shane said smiling sheepishly as Ben.

For goodness sake, Ben thought, no wonder she was off her nut, again. Every week, every bloody week.

“Is Lex coming tonight?” Suzy asked.

“No Suze, she’s staying with her mum tonight, she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon”

“Yay!” Suzy said, running over to the sofa and jumping on it.

“Suzy, get down!” Ben said annoyed. “Shane, get her a glass of water and then we better get dinner on, try and get some of the sugar out of her system, if we have a hope of a pleasant evening.”

Ben headed into the kitchen, opening the fridge he could see some chicken pieces which he took out and put on the side, with some potatoes and some carrots and broccoli. 

“Can’t we have a takeaway?” Shane said coming into the kitchen and putting his hands around Ben’s waist.

“No” Ben said, shrugging him off “she needs something healthy in her. Why did you give her all that chocolate?”

“She loved it” Shane said leaning against the kitchen counter next to Ben.

“She’s a child Shane, you are the adult, you need to remember that.” He said grabbing a peeler and starting to peel the potatoes. “Right, I’m doing chicken, mash and veg. Get something good in her.”  
Shane leant over and gave Ben a kiss on the cheek “thanks babe” he said as he grabbed the glass of water and headed back into the living room.  
Ben felt himself shudder inside at Shane’s touch, glad that he had gone back to Suzy. Hopefully they would settle in to watch a film on the sofa, and leave Ben in some peace.   
Unfortunately not, Ben thought as Shane headed back in. 

“I can’t get her off the sofa, she’s jumping up and down like a maniac, can you come?”

Ben sighed putting down the peeler. “Suzy” he said firmly as he walked into the living room “Sit down, NOW”

Over dinner Suzy continued to talk at a mile a minute, the sugar still clearly pumping through her, she told them all about her day, then her trip to park with Shane and then about the large bags of chocolate he bought her from the shop whilst they were over there.  
Ben was actually glad of the distraction, at least if she was talking then Shane wouldn’t notice that he wasn’t. It was fine though, he liked Suzy, and it was lovely how comfortable she felt with him, it was a shame that something wasn’t sitting right with him this evening.

As Shane put Suzy to bed, Ben cleared up the kitchen, then sat back on the sofa, putting on the TV. Half an hour later Shane finally re-appeared. “She is finally asleep” he said falling into the sofa next to Ben, placing a hand on Ben’s thigh, as Ben flinched. “You ok babe?” Shane asked looking at Ben concerned.  
“You just made me jump that’s all” Ben smiled back weakly. Sadly thinking that he just wished that Shane would move his hand.  
“Fancy a beer?” Ben said getting up.  
“Sure” Shane smiled.  
Ben moved into the kitchen swiftly, leaning on the kitchen side he could feel a headache coming on, he felt so tense and he was in his own home. Perhaps the beer would help he thought as he opened the fridge and grabbed two.  
Walking back into the living room he handed a beer to Shane, sitting back down, again Shane placed a hand on his thigh and Ben just had a sickness feeling in his stomach. He just couldn’t stop thinking - get your hand off my thigh.  
Leaning back into the sofa, Ben desperately tried to relax taking gulps from the beer bottle as Shane continued to run this hand up and down his thigh. As Ben finished his drink he turned back to Shane “fancy another?”  
“Haven’t finished this one to be honest babe”  
Ben shot up quickly, “well I’m going to have another” as he headed back into the kitchen.   
Standing in the dark for a few moments he tried to rationalise the sinking feeling he had inside. Shane would definitely be up for doing stuff tonight, Suzy would be fast asleep from the sugar high and they hadn’t had sex in over a week, but the thought of it was turning Ben’s stomach. It wasn’t like they had ever had the best sex life, everything about their relationship had been fairly mediocre since the beginning, but Ben had never felt like this before, he had just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to get out of the house and get as far away from Shane as possible, there was no way he was going to have sex tonight, no matter what issues it caused, the thought made his skin crawl.

Back in the living room as he sat down again Shane turned to face him, this time taking a hand and putting it into Ben’s hair as he stared into Ben’s eyes.  
“I was thinking babe, that we could have an early night” he said as he leant over and gave Ben a kiss on the ear, then pressing gentle kisses down the side of his face, on his cheek and then on his lips. Ben quickly pulled back, jumping up off the sofa and heading for the stairs. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” Shane called after him, as Ben only just made it to the bathroom in time to be sick.


	5. Chapter 5

Callum woke up in bed and immediately a wave of excitement filled his belly, his first thought was as it had been all week, Ben. Another day with gorgeous Ben, he couldn’t wait, but then it dawned on him. No, he wouldn’t be spending the day with Ben, it was Saturday. Damn, 2 whole days, 2 whole days until he would see him again, the excitement dropped immediately. Well, he thought to himself, 2 days to daydream about him, 2 days to try and figure out what was going on with him, and 2 days to plan the most perfect and sexiest outfit for Monday.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table beside him – Ben – he thought, then laughed at himself, that would be quite an achievement Ben sending him a message when he didn’t have his number. He chuckled as he grabbed his phone and saw Lee’s name on the screen.

‘Don’t forget, 11am suit hire place yeah?’

He text him back straight away ‘I’m getting up now, I’ll see you there’

Callum looked at the time 10am, whoops he was going to have to get a wriggle on if he wasn’t going to be late.

As he arrived at the suit hire shop Lee and his brother Johnny were already in there, talking to a guy who was showing them various suits as Lee’s dad Mick appeared from the changing room wearing one.  
“Alright Cal” Lee said, “Dad’s already in his element”

“Easy boy” Mick said, giving him a grin “Nice to see ya Cal, ready for a morning of shopping? His mum will kill me if we don’t look knockout, so we’re here looking for the best yeah, no expense spared”

Johnny rolled his eyes, patting Callum on the shoulder “I’m sorry mate, you know what we’re like, you’ve known us long enough”

Callum chuckled “Don’t worry fellas I know what I’ve let myself in for!”

Later in the pub they were already on to their 3rd pints, they had picked out suits, shirts, ties and shoes and were well on their way to celebrating their successful shopping trip.  
Callum was starting to feel a bit tipsy and as the subject inevitably turned to marriage and how much Lee loved his fiancée Ebony, Mick started to get a bit emotional, telling the guys again about how much he loved his wife, Lee and Johnny’s mum Linda. By pint 5 Callum had started to join in and before he knew it he was telling the guys about this bloke he had met at work, who had the most amazing eyes, and ass! Bit more information than they were expecting, but they were excited for him none the less and started to grill him for more information.

“So come on then Cal, what’s his story?” Lee asked

“He’s well lush” Callum slurred, but I reckon he’s got a fella”

“Why do ya think that?” Johnny said.

“Well, we were in the pub yesterday and then he had to run off. Duty calls apparently. Whatever that meant” Callum rolled his eyes.

“That could have been his mum for all you know!” Lee continued.

“Yeah I guess” Callum looked thoughtfully off into the distance.

“Has he ever mentioned anyone?” Mick joined in.

“No, but the others said that they were all taken, when they asked me if I was” Callum picked up his pint, taking another gulp.

“Yeah, but did he say he was?” Lee poked him in his side.

“Well no” Callum put his pint back down.

“I reckon it’s fair game then mate. Either he’s single, or he wishes he was. No mention of anyone at all the whole week? Na, it’s got to be an empty home, or an unhappy one” Johnny laughed.

“I just want to know” Callum whined. “He’s proper fit, and it was so unexpected. And his ass, sorry guys, I just have to say, his ass is to die for, so are his eyes, and he smells amazing”

“You got it bad already mate” Lee chuckled.

“And now” Callum continued “And now, I get to work with him on his own, just him and me. Roll on Monday, I can’t bloody wait”

Ben, sadly was not having such a good weekend. Lexi had arrived and as always he was delighted to see her. She had immediately started playing with Suzy as usual and Ben took them both to the park while Shane stayed at home and had a nap, Suzy had been on the go since 5am, and Ben insisted that he get up and entertain her.   
Sitting on a bench in the park he watched the girls running around playing, jumping on and off all the equipment and whispering in each other’s ears. Their giggling and happiness was such a joy to see and it really did fill Ben’s heart, but it did also make him realise that he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed at home, or the last time doing anything without the girls made him happy. Even now sitting here watching them, he didn’t feel sad that Shane wasn’t here with him, in fact he felt relieved.

After an hour Ben decided he should probably head home. The girls could watch a film while he started dinner. Shane would be up soon and Suzy would begin to flag after such an early start so she would need an early night. If he could persuade Shane to pop out then he might get some nice one on one time with Lexi, although he was doubtful that would happen, but it was worth a try.

The girls skipped ahead of him holding hands as they walked back home. Watching them he really did love to see their bond, it was so lovely how well they got on. It made them a real family. Maybe it didn’t matter that he wasn’t happy, their happiness could be his. Maybe he could be happy one day when they were older…

Dinner was a quick stir fry that Ben knocked up. Suzy was struggling to stay awake and Ben wanted to make sure that she was well fed before she went to bed. At 7pm with her curled up to Shane she finally gave in and fell asleep. Shane scooped her up and took her up to bed, gently putting her into her pyjamas and tucking her in, she stayed asleep the whole time. As he came back down Ben had got the X box out and he and Lexi were having a quick game of Mario Kart, sat next to each other on the living room floor. Shane hated games, and sighed as he came back into the living room.

“Why don’t you pop down the road and have a quick pint?” Ben said, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I had a drink with my work lot last night and me and Lex can have a bit of time on this without annoying you”

“No, no, it’s fine” Shane said, settling into the sofa.

“Honestly, it will do you good, you haven’t left the house all day” Ben continued.

“Babe, I’d rather be here with you guys”

Ben held in a sigh, he couldn’t ever get a minute with Lexi, he was amazed that Shane let him take the girls to the park today on his own, everything he did Shane had to be by his side, it was suffocating.

After a few minutes Shane started to get restless on the sofa. “Hey guys, why don’t we turn this off and watch another movie? I’ll make popcorn!” Shane said enthusiastically.

Ben sighed. “What do ya reckon Lex?”

“Ok” she said, looking slightly disappointed, she had been winning and was enjoying herself.

“It’ll be better than this I promise” Shane said getting up.

“Well, why don’t we finish this race whilst you make it?” Ben suggested.

“I’ve only got to put it in the microwave, I won’t be gone that long” Shane said giving Ben a kiss on the head.

“Ok, ok I’ll switch it off.” Ben said, looking over at Lexi as she gently placed her controller on top of the games console. 

“It’s ok Daddy, I’m sure the film will be fun” Lexi said joining Ben on the sofa.

“See, this will be so much better” Shane said smiling.

Ben pulled Lexi into his side, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the head. “Sorry baby” he whispered into her ear as she looked up at him and smiled. Inside he was seething, Shane always had to be involved, always had to have his attention, he couldn’t just have 5 minutes, even for his own daughter. He so desperately wanted this family, but this just didn’t feel right.


	6. Chapter 6

Callum’s alarm went off – 7am – Monday.  
He had hardly slept, so excited to finally see Ben again, and still slightly hungover after Saturday. The celebration drinks ended up going on until 4am and had totally written off his Sunday.  
But none of that mattered now, today was the day that he was going to see Ben, today was the day that he was going to start the new project with Ben. Just him, and Ben, in a meeting room alone, all day, today.  
As he got up and washed and dressed he went to the wardrobe and pulled out the outfit that he had spent ages putting together. A tight fitting designer white shirt with patterned collar and cuffs, it had cost him a fortune. Tight fitting navy trousers, accentuating his ass and thighs and matching navy jacket. He wasn’t going to wear a tie today, he noticed that the others didn’t and that meant that he could open a couple of the top buttons. He also put on his new aftershave, it smelt amazing! After styling his hair to perfection he left the house.

On the way into the office he stopped at the café that he had lunch in with Ben picking up a hot chocolate for him and a cappuccino for Ben. A great way to show how thoughtful he was, remembering Ben’s order, and setting them up to start their planning meeting together.  
As he walked into the building saying a quick “hi” to Tony the security guard he went into their office, now able to get in with his own pass. Approaching the desks he saw that Ben was already there. 

“Morning!” He said brightly. “I got you a cappuccino”

“Oh” Ben said “Cheers!”

“Well I was getting myself a drink and thought it would be a good way to start our planning day!” Callum smiled at him. Praying that the loud sound his heart was making wasn’t clear for everyone to hear.   
Ben looked incredible. He was wearing a navy blue shirt, with a black suit, and as he stood up and leant over his desk to disconnect his laptop from his monitor and grab his notebook, Callum noticed that the suit clung to him in all the right places. His pulse began to quicken even more, as Ben turned back to him flashing that lightbulb smile and twinkling his gorgeous eyes. Callum hadn’t felt this excited about a project in a long time, no never.

“Right, I booked meeting room 3 downstairs, so shall we go down there?” Ben said.

“Yep, I’ll follow you.” Callum said, trying to sound casual. A whole day he thought, a whole day in a room with Ben, just the two of us. It was like a dream come true.

Ben focussed on the items in his hand as he walked out of the office and headed down the stairs. If it was possible Callum looked even more gorgeous, and was that a new aftershave? Because he simply smelled amazing. Ben had this horribly strong urge to lick his lips and as Callum followed on behind him he had no choice but to indulge himself quickly.   
Callum looking like this was dangerous, and they had a whole day ahead to work together in a room one on one. It hadn’t helped that he had just had the weekend from hell with Shane. When the girls went back to their mums Shane had insisted on an early night and Ben couldn’t think of a way out of it, he had managed to keep Shane at arm’s length for over a week and had no more excuses. The sex had gone on for ages and it had been horrible. Shane had wanted to take it slowly, trying to kiss and caress every part of Ben’s body, but it was just slobbery and uncomfortable. Ben lying naked on the bed as Shane moved down from his neck, down his chest and attempted to go down on him. Ben’s neck and chest ended up being a wet mess, and when Shane took him into his mouth Ben’s body simply wouldn’t respond and instead he was just a limp mess. Thank god Shane was happy for him to bottom so that he didn’t have to try and harden up and with the wetness already all over his chest, Shane mistakenly thought that Ben had enjoyed himself as much as he did. After it was over Ben rolled over as Shane cuddled up behind him. He felt sick. Their relationship had never been exactly passionate, and he thought that he could live with that and just accept it, but something had really changed. He didn’t know how he could cope living like this.

The meeting room was quite chilly as the heating hadn’t been on over the weekend, and as the meeting rooms were rarely used on Friday afternoons the radiators had been turned down. As they headed in, Ben turned them back up “Hopefully the room should warm up soon”, glancing over to Callum as he put his things down he noticed Callum’s hardened nipples under his shirt where his jacket fell away, Ben felt a stirring in his trousers. God this guy was so hot.

Ben settled down into a chair, connecting his laptop to the monitor on the wall. Callum took the seat next to him.  
“I er, read the info that you sent me” Callum said.

“Great, hope it made sense” Ben continued to look at his screen.

“Yeah, yeah, it was fine”

“Ok” Ben said as he found the right documents on his computer, the monitor on the wall replicating his laptop screen. “Shall we get started?”

They had steadily been working for 2 hours, making progress on the project, paperwork surrounding the desk in front of them.

Ben leant over Callum to grab the piece of paper that they had put the app diagram on. As he did the incredible smell of Callum made Ben’s entire body quiver, sending goosebumps up his arms. Callum, putting his hand out to type on Ben’s laptop accidentally brushed Ben’s arm feeling them. Wow, Callum thought, he does feel it too. 

Gazing into each other’s eyes, Callum continued to talk, “so if we had a link between the shopping app and the audiobook one, maybe on all of the printed book pages, you know to make it so much, er, so much easier to choose between them” his voice drifted off as they both moved their heads closed together.

“Yeah, people like options” Ben said, his gaze shifting from Callum’s eyes to his lips as they inched ever closer together.

The door swung open as they swiftly moved apart, Lo walking through it “how’s it going guys?” she asked warmly. “Ooh I can see lots of planning in progress, fab, I knew setting you two up together was the right thing to do!”

“Yep, all good thanks Lo” Ben said acting as professional as possible. “I’m actually, er, gonna nip to the loo”

Damn, Callum thought, talk about the world’s worst timing, but at least he knew Ben was interested now, 5 more seconds and he knew he would have had those beautiful lips on his, his hands in that gorgeous hair…

“Everything alright Callum?” Lola asked

“Yes, sorry Lola, everything’s great” Callum smiled at her.

“Great, well I’m in meetings for the rest of the day and then I’ve got to go early I’ve got an appointment to get to, but I’ll see you in the morning ok?”

“Sure, see you tomorrow” Callum smiled eagerly. Definitely no interruptions this afternoon then.

As Lola left the room she bumped into Ben returning, no doubt relaying the same information to him. He poked his head back in. “Lunch?”

Heading back to the same café down the road from the office as their previous lunch together, now as far as Callum was concerned their café. Ben turned to face Callum “my shout today, same as last time?”

Callum smiled “yeah great thanks”. He remembered my order, Callum thought, his heart beating fast again, that has to be another good sign. Callum found the table by the window again. Our table. Taking a seat as Ben headed over carrying a tray with their drinks and food on. 

“I think it’s been a good morning, yeah?” Ben said nervously.

“Yeah totally.” Callum smiled “we make a good team” he said glancing up, he was sure he could see a hint of a blush crossing Ben’s face. “So, er, do you think that we will need to put a working group together?” Callum continued.

“Yeah” Ben said between mouthfuls of sandwich, “we’ve still got a bit to do, but we can work on a list later if you like?”

“Great” Callum said pausing, trying to get up his nerve to ask Ben a more direct question, “so do you need to shoot off at any particular time tonight?” He could feel his throat tighten as he waited for Ben’s response.

“No, not really, was planning to go to the gym later, but I’m in no rush”

Callum felt his heart swell, Johnny’s words ringing in his head - an empty home, or an unhappy one.

Back in the meeting room Ben decided they had to be more professional this afternoon, he knew that they had almost kissed this morning, and god did he want to. Not only was Callum gorgeous and sexy, he was also smart and nice, but this was a dangerous road to be going down, Lexi was happy with their little family with Suzy and Shane, he had to put her first.

As they settled back into the work, they whipped through the outstanding items, moving on to the list of attendees for the working group. Ben gave Callum a rundown of the people they needed to include.  
“Clive, Finance, top bloke, absolutely hilarious, but bloody lazy, you can’t help but forgive him though”  
“Kat, from Buying, I think you’ve met her?”

“Yeah” Callum said, “she was well funny. Kept telling me all about her fella whilst touching my leg, don’t think she got the memo about the new gay guy!”

“No, probably not!” Ben chuckled.

“Silvia, from Legal” Ben continued. “She’s lovely, but strict as hell, someone has to keep us in line eh? Stu from IT?”

“The bigger guy, who looks like a cuddly bear?” Callum smirked.

“Yeah” Ben giggled. “Nige from Marketing, Patrick from Digital”

“This sounds a bit like a boy band!” Callum joked.

“I guess it kinda does. Oh and Pete, he’ll be our Project Manager”

“Sure that’s everyone, or were there a couple of the cleaners that you wanted to add to the list?” Callum gently nudged Ben in the ribs with his elbow.

“Hmm, nope I think that will do it!” Ben smiled back.

“Sure, I’ve still got my pen in my hand and once it’s down that’s it, door is closed!” Callum continued to tease.

“It’s fine” Ben said “I’m done now”

“Really?” Callum said holding up his pen “because it is going down” Callum slowly moved his pen towards the desk “down, down, down” he said slamming it on the desk.

“You div!” Ben chuckled.

Callum giggled. Yes I made him laugh he thought. “So we need to plan the kick off meeting.”

“Yep, shall we do a quick PowerPoint now? Unless you need to get going?”

“Nope” Damn Callum thought that came out too quickly. “I’m fine to stay and get it done.”

“Great” Ben said.

It had been an amazing day, getting to know each other and giggling, and just enjoying spending time together. Ben hadn’t enjoyed himself so much in ages, it was so easy with Callum, they just seemed to click, and it was lovely, Ben really didn’t want it to end.

“Pub?” Callum said. ‘I reckon we deserve a quick pint”

“On a Monday? Naughty!”

“So are you up for it?”

“Yeah, cool.”

Callum felt himself quivering inside, trying desperately not to see this as a date. It was just a casual drink, with the guy who was setting his heart alight.


	7. Chapter 7

The pub was quite busy, but Callum spotted a small table with 2 seats in the corner, nice and secluded. “Why don’t you grab that table, and I’ll get the drinks” he suggested, Ben nodding and heading over to the table.

Callum walked straight to the bar, appreciative of the time to get himself together. Ordering 2 pints, as he waited he turned back to see Ben sat down looking at his phone. God he’s so gorgeous, Callum thought to himself, and funny, and smart, and sexy as hell. Ben looked up and Callum gently blushed, smiling, turning back to pay.

Callum arrived back at the table carrying two pints in his hand and placing them down, slipping into the seat opposite Ben.

“Cheers Cal”

Callum smiled, as he picked up his pint “No problem”

Ben took a slurp of his drink and then placed it back on the table “So how did your usher duties go at the weekend?”

He remembered, Callum thought, the warm glow spreading inside.

“Good thanks, all clothing is sorted and then we went for some celebratory drinks, quite a few actually!”

“Sounds fun” Ben smiled.

“Yeah it was. Lee’s been my best mate since I was a kid and his family are great, I’m really happy for him. How was your weekend?”

“Pretty quiet, just family stuff you know. So when is the wedding?” Ben said quickly changing the subject. That was interesting, Callum thought.

“It’s in four months, I’m looking forward to it, will be a right laugh. I’m still a bit hungover from the weekend to be honest, we got a bit carried away” Callum said leaning back in his chair. 

Ben chuckled. “Well you covered it well, I had no idea. I wonder what else you are hiding eh?”

“Hmm” Callum said “Wouldn’t you like to know? But got to be a good boy haven’t I being new and all that”

“Ah, we’re off the clock, you can tell me your deepest and darkest secrets” Ben winked, grabbing his pint again and taking a gulp, never taking his eyes off Callum.

“Still, want to make a good impression.”

“Well you’ve definitely made one of those” Ben smiled again.

“That is good to know” Callum looked at him intently.

“So are you happy?” Ben asked.

“At work? Yeah, I’m enjoying it, I’m enjoying being with you, er I mean working with you”

“Me too” Ben paused. “Another?” Ben pointed at Callum’s nearly empty pint.

“Yeah, great, thanks” Callum could feel his heart pounding.

Ben walked over to the bar. He knew this wasn’t a good idea, he should be heading home soon Shane would be expecting him. But then why was he reaching for his phone texting that he was going to be late? Why was he grabbing a menu from behind the bar? 

He walked back to the table, putting down the drinks. “I thought we could grab dinner?” he said handing Callum a menu.

“Good plan” Callum smiled.

“I’m just going to head to the loo” Ben said walking away from the table.

Ben walked into the gents, looking at himself in the mirror as he splashed some water onto his face, he could feel his heart fluttering throughout his body as his hands shook gently. This was amazing, the excitement that he felt, it was like he was on a first date. He had never, ever, felt like this about Shane, and whilst it wasn’t Shane’s fault, not really, Ben had settled, and so had Shane. Ben never really felt loved, he just felt like someone who would do, and whilst they had spent the last two years pretending, the love, just wasn’t real, wasn’t there. But here, tonight, he felt electric, alive, buzzing, and the butterflies were definitely swimming in his stomach. He quickly composed himself, eager to get back to Callum. As he approached the table, Callum with his back to him, he paused briefly, taking in the view. Wow, he thought, this is really something.

The food was fairly standard, they both opted for a burger, and they then decided to go for a coke each, after all they were driving. The coke turned into a coffee and then a second coffee, and then a third both entranced in their conversation until they heard time being called at the bar. Ben suddenly feeling the panic, he had no idea it was so late and dreaded what he would be going back to.

Heading back to the car park, they continued to chat effortlessly, as Ben approached his car first, nervously dithering next to the driver door as he took his keys from his pocket, he turned back to Callum who was stood hovering by him.

“Well, er thanks for a fun night Cal, it was er, great.”

“Yeah” Callum smiled. There was a pause as they both looked at each other unsure what to do, as the time ticked by they both considered taking a step forward, but then a buzzing noise start to come from Ben’s coat pocket. His phone. Shane, no doubt. Breaking the silence.

“See you tomorrow then?” Ben said as he turned back and unlocked his car.

“Yeah, yeah, see you tomorrow” Callum replied.

Ben opened the door and swiftly got into his car, his palms sweating as he put his keys into the ignition, knowing he had to quickly get out of there before he changed his mind, and jumped out to crash his lips to the ones on the gorgeous face still stood in front of him.

As Ben drove out he waved up and Callum waved back.

Still stood there stunned, wow, Callum thought, that was the best night of my life. But he was still confused, did Ben have someone to get home to? He didn’t seem bothered that they had been together all night, they had talked about anything, everything, it had been so easy, they had even flirted a little, he hadn’t imagined that, right? Things seemed to be moving in the right direction and as Callum got in his car he felt like he was floating on cloud nine, driving out the car park knowing that he would spend the rest of the night thinking about the gorgeous guy who was setting his heart alight.


	8. Chapter 8

Callum couldn’t wait to get in the office the next day. As he walked across from the car park to the office, he considered getting another round of drinks in like he had done the previous morning, but he didn’t want to appear too keen. The planning session they had done the previous day was complete and they wouldn’t be behind closed doors together today. They had both taken actions and now they just had to get on with it, but at least he could spend the day sat next to Ben, talking to him, breathing him in, being around him, and trying to move things forward a bit more.

As he entered the office, he saw that he was the first one in, not that strange he was quite early. He logged on to his computer and saw that he already had an email in his inbox. Ben.

Sorry Callum, going to have to work from home today, something has come up, but if you need me give me a call on...

Callum felt overcome with emotion, gutted that Ben wasn’t coming in and he wouldn’t get to see him today, but there it was, in black and white, Ben’s phone number, his heart pounded again as he grabbed his phone quickly adding Ben as a contact, and before he had time to think he quickly text him.

Hey, got your email. Hope is all ok, this is Callum by the way.

And hit send. So now he has my number too Callum thought.

Ben had arrived home the previous evening to a nightmare. His phone had been ringing all night, but in the pocket of his jacket that he had put on the back of his chair, while he was so busy being engrossed in conversation with the most beautiful man he had ever met he hadn’t noticed, he hadn’t given Shane a second thought.   
By the time he arrived home Shane was practically hysterical, he had even called the hospital to see if Ben had been admitted.   
It had taken Ben over an hour to calm him down, as Shane sobbed into his chest, Ben quietly apologised into Shane’s hair as he explained how he had worked late, and then lost track of time at the gym, having had a shower and then been chatting with one of the guys there who was having trouble at home with his wife. As he continued babbling on, trying to calm Shane down he amazed himself with how well he was making the story up on the spot, it was easier as he didn’t have to look him in the eye.  
Eventually Shane had tired and fallen asleep lying practically on top of him and Ben spent the night trying to sleep whilst being crushed.  
In the morning, Shane was still quite a state, with a banging tension headache. Ben sent him to bed after calling in sick for him, as he seemed incapable of doing it himself, and realised that he was going to have to stay home and look after him. Shane really was such a drama queen, going on and on about how he had been so terrified when Ben didn’t answer the phone, and how he wouldn’t cope if anything had happened to him. Ben didn’t have the heart to say that he hadn’t even given Shane a second thought all evening.

When Callum text Ben’s heart jumped into his throat. Callum’s phone number, he now had Callum’s number. He had hoped that by sending his number over he would be able to see where it went and he couldn’t believe that Callum had immediately sent the message. Now they would be able to chat outside of work, and Ben was both exhilarated and terrified about what that meant.

The day dragged so badly with no Ben. It didn’t help that half the team were out of the office, so it was only Callum, Jay and Lola, who were both in and out of meetings all day. Callum had plenty to do, the meeting yesterday with Ben had laid out all of the work going forward so he knew what he had to get on with, but he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. And the new number he had just added to his phone was burning into his brain. He was desperate to talk to Ben, but he just couldn’t think of anything to say. Then like magic, Pete, their to be assigned Project Manager turned up.

“Er hi, I’m Pete, Ben sent me an email yesterday asking me to pop by?” he said as he approached the bank of desks.

“Oh right yeah, I’m Callum, he wanted to talk to you about the apps project”

“Ok”

“We’re, um, working on it together, starting to put together the project team and he said that you would be PM?” Callum said.

“Did he?” Pete replied.

“Er, yeah”

“Cheeky bugger, always wants me on his projects, even though he knows it doesn’t work like that and we have to be officially assigned.” Pete laughed.

“Oh, sorry” Callum said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Na, don’t worry it’s ok, he knows I’ll swing it. Just send me over the details and we’ll go from there. You know what your requirements are?”

“Just working on them now.” Callum said looking back at his laptop screen.

“Ok, well once you have, ping them over and I’ll take a look. Do you know who you want on the team?”

“Yeah, we worked on the list”

“Ok, send me that and I’ll arrange the meetings first, just to get them in the diary. I assume Ben is back tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think so”

“Ok then, I’ll put some time in, the 3 of us tomorrow to start it off, that ok with you?”

“Yeah great.”

“Nice to meet you Callum”

“Cheers, nice to meet you too”

As Pete walked away Callum couldn’t help himself, pulling his phone out of his pocket he immediately text Ben.

So, Pete just dropped by. Sorry I think I might have dropped you in it!

A reply came immediately

How?

Callum continued

Well, I told him you said he would be PM, and he said that you were a cheeky bugger

Ben

I bet he did, but is he gonna do it?

Callum

Yeah. He said he’ll put a meeting in tomorrow, that ok? Are you gonna be back?

Ben

Yeah, I’ll be back.

Callum felt his heart soar. Ben text again

Are you ok with everything? Need a chat about the requirements?

Callum

That would be good, can you talk?

Ben

Yes of course, give me 5 and I’ll call you.

Ben knew he shouldn’t be calling him. But once his name appeared on his phone he couldn’t help himself, he just wanted to hear his voice, wanted the rush of feelings to course through his body like it had all last night. The feelings he had when he thought about Callum were addictive and he just wanted more.

Callum sat nervously looking at his phone waiting for Ben to call. There was no one else in the office, Lola had gone to one of their other buildings for the rest of the day and Jay had gone early to the dentist. Callum tapped his pen against the desk trying to distract himself, but all he could think of was Ben. His eyes, his lips, his laugh, his bum. God, Callum had never felt like this, His ex’s were nothing to write home about, Chris was a cute first love, and Simon, well, all they did was argue for a year, and in the end neither of them could be bothered anymore. It was highly likely that it was never love. But this, with Ben, was amazing. They laughed, they teased, and somehow the electricity between them was just there, from the very beginning. Callum felt a tingle whenever Ben was around, and when he wasn’t, just from thinking of him. He loved it, it felt amazing.

Finally his phone rang and Ben’s name appeared, he picked up his phone, taking a deep breath, answering it as casually as he could. “Ben, hi”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, so please forgive me for it! Hoping that this moves things along, and that you do enjoy it.  
> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos xx

Ben was already in the office when Callum arrived the next day, sat down reading through his emails. 

“Hey, you’re back!” Callum smiled as he walked to the bank of desks.

“Yeah, sorry about that” Ben said turning in his chair. “Er, I was needed at home.”

“Oh right” Callum said his heart sinking slightly “Is um, everything ok?”

“Fine, thanks” Ben sighed, smiling weakly “yeah, fine”

Callum took a seat, taking his laptop out of his bag and putting it on his desk. He was dying to know, what did he mean about being needed at home? Ben had never mentioned anything about his home life before and it was driving Callum crazy. He needed to find a way to get it back into conversation.

“Cuppa?” he said as he turned to Ben.

“Yeah, cheers, tea thanks”

“No probs”

As Callum headed into the kitchen he had a plan forming, he just needed a few minutes to gain the courage.

Ben sat staring at his screen. Why had he said that? Why had he mentioned home? He was going to have to confess now. He didn’t know why he had kept Shane and the girls a secret from Callum for so long. It was ridiculous, it wasn’t a secret, everyone knew about them, but then with Callum he was able to live in this little bubble of optimism, of a chance of happiness, which he knew wasn’t real, but he had gone along with it anyway, and now it was going to crash around him. He wished that he had the courage to leave Shane, but how could he do that to Lexi?

Callum returned to his chair and put both cups down on their joining desks. It’s now or never he thought to himself, taking a seat and turning to Ben.

“So, was your other half ill then?”

Ben almost choked on his tea. “Er, er, yeah. He’s um, quite a drama queen actually and so, er you know I had to stay.”

Callum felt his heart sink. So there it was, he did have someone. Taking all of his best effort to maintain his composure he continued. “Oh right, poor thing, well at least he had you to look after him”

“He didn’t need looking after, there wasn’t anything wrong with him” Ben said and continued quietly “there never really is”

Callum heard that, the tone, the words he used.

“So, um” Callum decided to carry on, he had to know it all now. “Have you been with, sorry what’s his name? Been together long?”

“It’s Shane” Ben said, slightly wincing “couple of years, our girls get on well”

Callum could feel his pulse throbbing at the side of his head. Girls? Shane? So much information, in such a short space of time.

“I didn’t know that you had girls?”

“Yeah, I have a daughter, after a one nighter, trying to be straight! Didn’t work, but I got my Lexi from it, and he has a daughter Suzy, they are the same age.”

“That’s so nice”

“Yeah Lexi is the best thing that has ever happened to me” Ben smiled.

“You are lucky to have found each other” Callum said, painting on a smile.

“I don’t know about that, the girls have a great time, you know, they get on well”

He had already said that, Callum thought.

“So, do the girls live with you full time?” Callum continued.

“No, split with their mums”

“Right. So you still have quality time just the two of you then?” Callum probed. The question like a knife through his heart, but he had to know.

“We don’t have much in common, I do my thing, he does his.”

“Hmm” Callum panicked, what do you say to that? “Er, so he’s not one for the gym then?”

“Shane? No, would rather sit at home watching Bargain Hunt!”

“I can’t imagine you doing that!” Callum laughed.

“Well that’s what it’s like when you have kids isn’t it? Their happiness is your happiness.”

That was rather a strange answer Callum thought, feeling a flicker of hope, remembering Johnny’s words again, unhappy home.

Ben turned back to his desk, his hands were sweating and his pulse was racing, he could feel a headache coming on. Grabbing his tea he noticed that his hands were shaking.   
Ben felt devastated, that’s it then. Callum knows and that’s the end of this, everything that they had been slowly building, everything that he had slowly started to let himself dream that could be possible, all because he met Shane first, god he wished he had met Callum first, but fate has screwed him.   
It’s not that he wanted to mislead Callum, he wasn’t one to cheat, but Ben couldn’t help how he felt around Callum, how warm he made him feel inside, how his pulse quickened all of his senses were heightened, he felt alive with Callum, he felt excited, he felt, happy.   
But it’s too late for that now, it’s time to forget Ben thought to himself, and get back to work.

Over the next 30 minutes the rest of the team arrived in the office and as the usual banter began Ben slowly started to relax. He had a meeting at 11.30 with the purchasing team that was in full swing when he noticed an email in his inbox.

Callum 

Fancy getting some lunch?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay, life got in the way, then writer's block and confidence crisis!  
> But we're back now. Hope you enjoy the next bit :-)

Sitting at their usual window table, eating their usual lunch, there was a comfortable silence between Ben and Callum.   
Ben sighed looking out of the window.

“Difficult morning?” Callum asked.

Ben looked back at him smiling. “Not really, just a bit dull going over some purchase orders with Dave in purchasing. I hate it when the numbers don’t add up and we have to go right back to beginning to figure out when the discrepancies started, but we got there in the end”

“So, done with it for now then?”

“Yeah fortunately” Ben smiled again.

God Callum loved that smile, he would do anything to keep seeing that.   
Whilst Ben had been in that meeting Callum been thinking about him, going over and over the conversation that they had had. So Ben had a daughter, Callum had no problem with that, he was nervous about it yes, he had never really been around kids that much, but he liked them and it definitely didn’t put him off. Then there was Shane, the boyfriend. Ben was clearly not happy with him, but Callum had never gone near someone who was in a relationship before, but he had never felt like this either. If Ben was happy then he would let it go, reluctantly, but he would. This though, this was different, he couldn’t just leave this. He really felt that Ben and Shane weren’t meant to be, it was right, and just maybe, maybe he was the one for Ben, and Ben was the one for him. He wasn’t actively trying to get in the middle of a family, but he had to know more, he was just going to give up.

“So, your daughter, Lexi, how old is she?”

“She’s seven” Ben said smiling.  
There it was again, that gorgeous smile.

“Got any pics?” Callum smiled back.

“Oh really? Yeah, of course” Ben said taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling through, putting a pic on the screen, he passed his phone over to Callum.  
On the phone was a picture of a gorgeous young girl with long blonde hair and Ben’s blue eyes staring back at him. She had his cheeky smile too.

“Aw, she’s lovely” Callum said, passing the phone back. “She looks so like you.”

“Yeah, poor thing” Ben chuckled.

“I think that’s a good thing actually.” Callum said. “So, what’s she in to?”

“Everything, she’s a total livewire always on the go. She really wants a puppy at the moment, keep going on and on about it, I’ve tried to convince her to get one at her mum’s, but unfortunately her mum’s boyfriend is allergic, or so he says!”

“So you aren’t up for it?”

“They are a lot of work, and I know what she’s like she won’t be happy walking it in the cold and rain, and it is a major tie, I like to be put and about”

“Oh yeah, doing what?”

“I don’t know, anything is better than just being stuck in all the time.”

Hmm, Callum thought, he heard that loud and clear.

“So anyway, what else is she up to?”

“I got her a scooter recently, that’s been fun, she loves it, constantly tearing around in it, she’s pretty fast now, although she fell off last week, but she had on her helmet and he elbow and knee pads so she was ok, straight back on it!”

“She sounds tough, bet she is faster than the other kids?”

“Oh yeah, gives the boys a run for their money not just the girls. I think that there is a lad Evan who seems to have a bit of a thing for her, but she isn’t interested, at all. She told me that he fell of his bike the other day and bashed his knee and he cried, she was totally unimpressed, she is brutal!”

Callum laughed “Aw poor guy, ah the power of unrequited love eh?”

Ben looked back at his sandwich, a small blush passed over his cheek. Callum saw that too, everything kept pointing to more hope. He definitely wasn’t going to give up. As their lunch finished they headed back to the office, Callum rushed off to a meeting as Ben returned to his desk.

Sitting back down he unlocked his computer and opened his emails trying to distract himself as his mind raced thinking about the lunch. Callum made his heart race, just being near him, and he seemed to interested in Lexi, asking about her, looking at the pictures, interested in Ben’s stories about her. Ben had always worried about how hard it would be to find a guy who would accept his daughter. That was how things had started with Shane in the first place. They had met online, both hiding their daughters until Ben had accidentally let it slip on date 2, he actually thought that it would scare Shane off and then he would have a reason for it to end. He knew from the beginning that it wasn’t quite right, he just didn’t feel the way that he thought that he should. Ben had never really been in a relationship before, he had slept with Marie when they were young after a night out, they had been in the same friendship group, and he was desperate not to be gay, and thought that maybe sleeping with a girl would help, and it did, it helped him realise that he definitely was gay. Afterwards Marie had been amazing, so understanding and when she found out that she was pregnant they had agreed to raise the baby together, and they had done successfully. Marie had found Jason and they were really happy together, they had talked about getting married and maybe even having a kid of their own. Ben was happy for them, but seeing them together only made it more clear to him that something was wrong between him and Shane.  
The problem was in those early days that Ben couldn’t think of a reason to not continue seeing Shane, he was a nice enough guy, ok looking, caring, interested in him and there was nothing about him to dislike. When he mentioned Suzy, Ben saw his appeal immediately, and when the girls met they bonded immediately and thus their little family was created. And Ben was happy, except he wasn’t, and he had decided to ignore that until Callum walked into his life, and now he was finding it harder and harder to ignore.

Callum walked back in from his meeting, casually taking his seat next to Ben as Ben received an email from Nick. He needed him to pop down, so Ben jumped up as soon as Callum sat down.  
Damn, Callum thought, he really wanted to spend more time talking to Ben, he wanted to get to know him better, he wanted to show that he cared, that he was interested, he just wanted to plant the seed in Ben’s mind that he had options, and that one of those options was him.


	11. Chapter 11

“So, don’t forget I have this work thing tonight” Shane hollered from the kitchen the next morning, as Ben put on his shoes by the front door.

“What?” Ben shouted back.

“The awards dinner, so I’m going to be back late. Very late, like 2am ish, if I’m lucky” Shane continued walking towards Ben.

“Oh right, ok” Ben said standing back up.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll be asleep when I get in”

“Ok, have a great time”

“Thanks babe” Shane said 

“See ya” Ben grabbed his coat and bag and left. A plan forming in his mind of what he could do with his night of freedom. 

“So, I was wondering if you were about later?” Ben asked Callum that afternoon as they were sat at their desks.

“Yeah, got no plans.”

“Maybe, pub and dinner? Or we could meet in town, ditch the cars at home and maybe have a couple of drinks?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll drop my car home and meet you at about 6? Do you know that pub the anchor?” Callum smiled.

“Yeah I know the one, great, see you at 6.” Ben smiled back.

Ben left the office at 4.30, and was back at home by quarter to 5, having successfully avoided most of the rush hour traffic. As he looked in the mirror splashing on some aftershave he took a deep breath. What was he doing? Could he really do this? Well after all it was only dinner and a few drinks with a workmate wasn’t it? No, he knew it was more than that. He had to know though, had to know whether Callum really was an option, and if maybe, just maybe he could find the guts to end things with Shane.

The taxi pulled up outside the anchor at just after 6, there were already people inside and as Ben stepped out he took a few deep breaths. This was it, the night that his life could possibly change. Having a last minute moment of fear he almost turned and got back into the cab, feeling a nervous flutter he turned back towards the pub and walked back in.  
Callum was already at the bar, ordering 2 pints. Ben stopped for a moment admiring him, he was wearing a pale blue shirt, and tight navy jeans that clung in all the right places. Ben walked over and leant on the bar next to Callum. “Hey”

Hearing Ben’s voice Callum turned and looked at him. “Hey” he said back smiling brightly. His heart thumping in his chest. Wow he looks amazing Callum thought, Ben looked incredible wearing a maroon shirt and black jeans.   
“I’ve ordered you a pint, hope that’s ok?”

“Yeah great, cheers”

“And, er we’ve got a table in the restaurant”

“Ok” Ben smiled as Callum handed him his pint, taking a sip.

“Do you wanna go straight through?” the man behind the bar asked.

“Yeah, sure” Callum answered.

Callum turned and walked towards the restaurant following the man who showed them to a table for two, in the back corner. Callum thanked the man, taking the menu’s from him and sitting down as Ben took a seat in the chair opposite him.

“So, no gym tonight?” Callum asked.

“Na, it’s always good to have rest days.” Ben chuckled. “Particularly when you get a better offer”

Callum tried his best, but failed to hide his blush. 

“Anyway” Ben continued “What about you Mr secretive?”

“Me?” Callum looked at him curiously.

“Yeah, how do you fill your evenings? Gym? Pub? Er, er partner?”

“Gym, yeah, sometimes, pub, yeah, often, partner, er, never” Callum laughed. “And er, my brother lives near me so I catch up with him a bit.”

“Oh right, I didn’t know that you had a brother.”

“He’s quite a bit older than me, he’s had a few problems, but he’s on the straight and narrow now, and he just got married.”

“Ah, nice. Do you er, like her?” 

“Yeah she’s alright. Had a few issues of her own, but they are pretty perfect together”

“So best man duties again then?” Ben asked.

“Yeah” Callum laughed, “But a much smaller do this time.”

“Your parents must have enjoyed it”

“Oh, they weren’t there” Callum said, turning to the menu. “So, I reckon I’m going for the fish, what about you?”

Interesting, Ben thought, doesn’t want to talk about his parents, so there was more to this guy than met the eye.

The food arrived and they ate quickly, before deciding to go further into town and have a few more drinks. As they arrived in the George, a local gay bar, Ben headed towards the bar. “Think this is my round”

“Er yeah, ok.” Callum said heading towards a booth.

Ben arrived back from the bar carrying 2 pornstar martini cocktails and 2 shots.

“Ben, what the hell are those?”

“Pornstars, and a little tequila!” Ben said, his eyes twinkling. “Come on, live a little!”

Callum sighed taking the shot and downing it. 

“Woah” Ben said, “No salt? No lemon?”

“Na, that’s for wimps.” Callum chucked. “Another?”

“Sure” Ben chuckled.

4 shots in and the room has started to become a bit wobbly as Callum pulled Ben up to the dance floor. Even though it was a week night it was still reasonably busy, and as they pushed their way into the middle, standing opposite each other as they started to dance along to the music staring intensely at each other.   
The rest of the room beginning to fade away as they got closer and closer to each other until Callum reached out and ran a finger down Ben’s arm. Ben felt his entire body tingle with the sensation of Callum’s touch, as Callum’s hand moved down to Ben’s and their fingers intertwined.  
Callum slowly pulling Ben closer until there was only a slither of light between their bodies. Ben looked up to Callum’s face feeling his hot breath on him, his heart beating louder and louder, their eyes still locked together as Callum leant closer and gently pressed his lips to Ben’s.

Callum’s entire body exploded into goosebumps, up and down his arms and legs, as a heat thunder bolted through his chest. He thought his heart was going to explode as he delved deeper, slipping his tongue into Ben’s mouth, as Ben reciprocated, the kiss getting deep and deeper, and hotter and hotter. Their intwined hands squeezing tighter as Ben’s other hand wrapped around Callum’s waist and Callum’s hand wrapped around Ben’s head, his fingers scrapping into his hair.  
They continued to dance and kiss, bodies swaying, tongues swirling until they were both hot and panting. 

“I need some air” Callum whispered in Ben’s ear, Ben nodding and pulling Callum outside.

Leaning up against the wall Ben pulled Callum down into yet another kiss, and then another, and another.  
The warmth, the heat, the touch of Callum’s hands on his face, the feel of his tongue were just incredible and Ben felt amazing, until he remembered and suddenly he pulled back, and out of Callum’s embrace.

Callum looked at him stunned. “Ben”

“I can’t, sorry Callum I can’t” Ben said moving away.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t do this to Lexi. She loves Shane, and Suzy, we’re a family. She’s my daughter, my baby, it’s hard enough for her to have a dad that is gay without me giving her a family and then taking it away. She’s happy. I have to put her first I’m sorry”

“Ben” Callum said, gently cupping Ben’s face in his big hand. “Are you happy?”

“That doesn’t matter”

“Of course it does, do you think that Lexi wants you to be unhappy?”

“That’s not fair. She comes first”

“Ben I know that but”

“No Cal, I’m sorry, I can’t do this, I have to stay with Shane”

“You can’t be serious. What we have it’s amazing”

“I know”

“So, come home with me”

“I can’t”

“You can” Callum hovered his mouth close to Ben’s, his tongue reaching out and licking Ben’s bottom lip.

Ben breathed deeply. “Please Cal, I want to, I want to so much, but I can’t”

Ben pulled away from Callum’s reach, marching down the street and jumping into a taxi, driving away.

Callum stood dumbfounded. He had just had the most amazing time, he was buzzing, kissing Ben was incredible and the feelings pulsing through his body were making his heart race, but that ending was devastating, Ben just leaving, there was no way that Callum was leaving it like that. He ran down the street jumping into a cab. “Follow that taxi!” he shouted as he shut the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments, and kudos, it means a lot.  
> I hope you enjoy the next part :-)

As the taxi pulled up outside of his house Ben jumped out and ran inside, just getting in the door as the tears began to fall. He couldn’t believe he had cheated, he felt awful. Around Callum, everything just felt so good, so right, but he was with Shane, he couldn’t do this to him.   
As he walked into the living room he sat on the sofa, head in his hands as the tears continued to fall. What on earth was he going to do.

The doorbell rang making Ben jump from his dismay.

Wandering over he opened the door and nearly fell over when he saw the man standing there. Callum.

“What, what are you doing here?”

“I’m not giving up Ben” Callum said firmly. “Is Shane in? Can I come inside?”

“He’s er, he’s not here. Yeah, come in” Ben said as Callum walked past him, straight into the living room.

“Er, do you want er, a drink or something?” Ben said looking at the floor.

“I want you.” Callum said strongly.

Ben looked up at him “That isn’t possible.”

“Yes it is, of course it is, anything is possible. And this, you and me, this doesn’t come along every day. What I feel for you is incredible, I’ve never felt like this before, it’s been there since the first day I met you and I know you feel the same, don’t you? Come on Ben, don’t lie, tell me”

“Of course I do” Ben whispered.

Callum smiled. “So, let’s do this.”

“It’s not that simple Callum, you know that. I have a child, I have a family.”

“Do you think that you couldn’t have the same with me? Let me meet Lexi, I’d love to”

“Callum.” Ben sighed “She’s not a mate, she’s my child and she loves Shane and Suzy. I told you, we are a family. I can’t just walk away.”

“You aren’t walking away, you are walking towards me”

Ben opened his mouth to speak and then stopped closing his mouth again.  
“What?” Callum asked.

“Callum. I think you are amazing, but –“

“But what?”

Ben sat down on the sofa. “But I told you. I have made this life, and I have to be responsible, this isn’t just about me and what I want, I have to considered everything here. I really want to, I do, but”

Callum sat down next to him, taking Ben’s hand “Give me a chance, please Ben” Callum said softly, looking him deeply in the eyes. “Give us a chance.”

Ben sighed. “Cal, I, don’t know what to do here. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.”

“Take a chance, come on please, otherwise you are living half a life. I know it’s scary and I am asking a lot of you, but please. I can’t bear to leave it like this. Tonight has been the best night of my life.”

“Mine too, other than when Lex was born”

“So how can you ask me to leave you? Leave this, leave us behind?”

“Because this isn’t right.”

“Leave Shane Ben, please. Please.” Callum squeezed Ben’s hand tighter. “I’m crazy about you.” Callum moved his other hand and stroked it gently down Ben’s face. “I want you so badly. Please, let me make you happy” As he spoke he slowly leant forward, placing his lips softly to Ben’s, who immediately gently pressed his back.   
Pulling away slowly, Ben allowed Callum to pull him into a hug, Callum gently rubbing one hand up and down Ben’s back, whilst the other settled in his hair.

“I’m scared.” Ben whispered into Callum’s ear. Wrapping his arms around Callum.

“I know. Me too. But I promise” Callum pulled back slightly so that he could look into Ben’s eyes. “It will be worth it.”

Ben paused, looking at Callum, he took a deep breath.  
“Ok. I’ll tell him.”

Callum’s heart flipped.  
“Yeah?” Callum whispered.

“Yeah” Ben smiled weakly. “Oh god he’s going to be crushed. He loves me, none of this is his fault. It’s mine, all mine.” Ben dropped his head, a small tear falling from his eye.

Callum placed his hand under Ben’s chin, lifting his face back up so that he could look into his eyes again. “Ben, no. Come on, we didn’t know this was going to happen. What were the chances of us meeting, one in a million. But we are meant to be, I believe that.”

Ben sighed. “I should never have got in this deep with him. I have never loved him. It just isn’t there, I just don’t feel it. And I got swept up in this notion of creating a family, for, for Lex, because it was my fault that I couldn’t give her one with her mum and me. Again, I just couldn’t feel it.”

“But this time you do?” Callum asked.

“Yes” Ben smiled at him “This time I do”

“Good, me too.” Callum smiled back. “I know this is going to be hard, and I want to help.”

“You can’t be here when I tell him. I don’t even know what I am going to say.”

“Tell him the truth, speak from the heart. And when it is done, come to me. Look I’ll text you my address. Just come, we can talk. If, if you want to.” Callum took his phone out of his pocket, quickly sending the message.

“I can’t tell him tonight.”

“What?” Callum looked at him. “Why not?”

“He’s at a work do, he won’t be back until really late, and he’ll probably be drunk, so I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Callum jumped up off the sofa and started to pace around the room. He could feel the panic rising, Ben was right of course, he couldn’t tell him something like that in the middle of the night. But what if he changed his mind and didn’t do it tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that? And what if Shane came back and things got all hot and heavy, the thought of Shane touching Ben, kissing Ben, or more, made Callum feel sick. He was starting to get a headache, he needed to get out of this house.

“Cal?” Ben stood up, walking towards him, and gently touching his arm. “I’m not going to change my mind. I want you.”

Callum looked at him, but said nothing.

“I mean it”

Callum still remained silent.

“He makes me feel sick” Ben whispered, staring at the floor.

“What?” Callum finally spoke.

“When he touches me, he makes me feel sick. I actually was once when he tried it on.” Ben looked back up at Callum, staring him straight in the eye. “I’m not going to change my mind.”

At midnight Callum left Ben’s house, taking a cab home, he kissed him softly before he left, telling that he hoped he would get some sleep and that he would see him tomorrow.   
Callum felt an odd mixture of emotions, it had been an amazing night, kissing and touching Ben had been incredible, and his heart was full of excitement and emotion towards this wonderful man that he couldn’t wait to call his. However, he was terrified. Terrified that Ben would change his mind. Terrified of how Shane would react. Terrified of what was next to come, telling Lexi, changing everything. But, no matter how much fear he had, he couldn’t wait for what was coming next. Ben. All he wanted was Ben.

Ben headed up to bed, sitting down his mind racing. So much had happened in the last couple of hours. His heart was still pounding from Callum, kissing Callum, hugging Callum, being with Callum. And Callum wanted him, felt the same, that mad rush of attraction, wanting, emotion, maybe more, maybe love, or the possibility of it. This was definitely something that he had never felt before and he felt himself drowning in it all tonight, going straight down the rabbit hole and he didn’t want to come back up.  
But sitting here in the bedroom that he shared with Shane reality sank in, Shane would be back in a few hours, he would come in and immediately cuddle Ben, like he always did and Ben was dreading it.   
But he was dreading telling him more, he just hoped that he wouldn’t lose his nerve and bottle it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone up for a bit of passion? :-)

Ben couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried, the adrenaline, fear and excitement were just coursing through his veins too quickly to allow it. And as the time ticked on he felt the greater sense of dread as he knew that Shane would be home soon. Very soon.

He heard the taxi pull up outside, and the door of the car slam shut. Looking up at the clock he saw the time 3.30. Oh god he thought, he’ll be even more wasted.  
Ben was right, he could hear the key being missed in the lock several times, before Shane eventually got the door open, kicking it shut and then stumbling up the stairs.   
Ben closed his eyes, turning away from the door and hoping that Shane would believe that he was asleep.  
Shane landed like a thump next to him, shoving off his shoes which make a bang as they hit the floor and rolling over, he wrapped his arm around Ben.  
Ben could feel his hot breath on his cheek and the smell of stale booze.   
“Babe” he whispered, “wake up”

Ben remained completely still.

“Babe” Shane said again, slipping his hand under the duvet.   
Ben held his breath, instantly feeling sick. Please no, he thought to himself, as Shane’s hand wandered into his boxers. Ben jumped up. “Shane, get off me”

“Babe, you are awake!” Shane said crawling across the bed, trying to move towards Ben’s lips for a kiss.

“Shane, no. Get off me!” Ben said more firmly.

“Come on babe” Shane said, his hands moving towards Ben’s face, as Ben grabbed his wrists pushing Shane away from him and back over to his side of the bed. 

“Stop it” Ben said jumping out of bed. “I’ll get you a glass of water” he quickly left the room and jogged down the stairs getting to the kitchen and taking a glass from the cupboard, filling it with some water, he leant against the counter he closed his eyes momentarily taking a few deep breaths.   
Heading back up the stairs slowly he hoped to find Shane passed out. Unfortunately he was wrong.

“Like what you see?” Shane said, he was lying across the bed completely naked.

“Jesus Shane!” Ben exclaimed.

“Come here” Shane slurred, reaching for Ben again.

Ben turned to chest of drawers, opening a draw he grabbed some pyjama bottoms and threw them at Shane. “Put them on”

“No” Shane said pouting. “I want a seeing to. Come here and give me one”

“Shane, put them on” Ben stood firmly, pointing at the pyjama bottoms.

Shane crawled down the Ben, jumping off the end and launched himself at Ben. “Come here, I want you.”

Ben pushed him back gently onto the bed. “It’s not going to happen.” He sighed. “Look I have a long day tomorrow, so I am going to sleep in Lexi’s room. I suggest you get some sleep.” He said, grabbing his phone and then placing the water down on Shane’s bedside table and turning and walking out of the room. As he entered Lexi’s room his legs were shaking. He got into the bed, lying still for a moment terrified that Shane would follow and was relieved after a few minutes when it became clear that he wasn’t going to. Taking a few deep breaths, he quickly text Callum.

I don’t know if you are awake, but he’s back. Very drunk. I am in Lexi’s room. Going to try and get a few hours sleep. Do you want to meet for breakfast before work? In our café? 8am? See you then. B x

His phone instantly vibrated next to his head. Callum.

I’m glad you are in Lexi’s room. Yes to breakfast, I’ll meet you anywhere, anytime, can’t wait. See you then. C x

Ben smiled and rolled over, snuggling into the duvet, closing his eyes and hoping that sleep would soon arrive.

Callum arrived at the café at 7.30. He grabbed a tea and sat at their usual table. He was nervous, his left leg jiggling under the table as he waited. He knew he was stupidly early but he couldn’t wait any longer, he had barely slept. He felt so much better when he received the text from Ben, from the moment he had left Ben’s house he had been torturing himself, thinking about what would have happened when Shane had got back from his work thing. Just knowing that Ben wasn’t sleeping in the same bed as Shane made him feel so much better, and asking to meet this morning filled him with such hope and excitement that it had added a couple more hours of lost sleep to the night, just thinking about this hour with Ben. He had finally dropped off around 5.30, only to wake again at 6.30 and decided to get up. He wanted to look good today, to look good for Ben.

At 7.45 Ben walked in. Callum was staring out of the window day dreaming as Ben sat down in front of him and made him jump.

“Morning” Ben smiled at him.

“You’re early” Callum said.

“So are you!” Ben laughed.

“Maybe I couldn’t wait.”

“Couldn’t wait?” Ben asked.

“To see you” Callum smiled shyly, reaching over and grabbing Ben’s hand, gently rubbing his thumb over Ben’s knuckles.

Ben grinned at him. “It’s so lovely to see you, and to just, be here, together, you know, properly.”

“Yeah it is. Do you want a cappuccino?”

“I’ll get it.”

“No” Callum jumped up. “I’ll get it, stay here, just looking gorgeous” he said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Ben’s forehead.

Ben felt a massive rush of warmth spread throughout his whole body. Wow, he thought, I have never felt anything like this, he couldn’t wait for Callum to come back and he had only gone to order some drinks. What is happening to me? He chuckled to himself.  
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Shane.

Thanks for leaving the painkillers out for me, I’m so lucky, you are so good to me. I promise I’ll be back in the land of the living when you get home. Can you skip the gym tonight? Miss you. Love you xxx

Ben felt himself shudder, placing his phone back in his pocket as his drink was placed in front of him.

“Message from Shane?” Callum asked as he took his seat.

“Yeah” Ben said quietly.

“It’s ok.” Callum smiled. “You’re here with me, that’s what matters.”

“I feel like an asshole.”

“Please don’t.” Callum took Ben’s hand in his again.

“I’m dating 2 guys. I am an asshole.”

“It’s temporary” Callum said, blushing at the thought that he is dating Ben. “You will end it tonight, yeah?”

“Yeah” Ben said, his gaze wandering out of the window.

“Yeah?” Callum said more firmly.

“Yeah, yes of course. Sorry. Yes.” Ben looked at Callum seriously.

“How the hell are we going to concentrate all day?” Callum said lightly, changing the subject.

“Well, I have been wanting to snog your face off since the day I met you, so I’ve had some practice.” Ben chucked.

“Yeah, but now you know I want you to!” Callum giggled back. 

“Well, I reckon I’m going to need to get a bit of a fix in before the day starts” Ben said, rubbing his foot up against Callum’s leg under the table. 

“Hurry up and drink that up then and I’ll see what I can do!” Callum said back seductively, as Ben grabbed his drink.

10 minutes later they were hiding in an alleyway around the corner of the office, Callum pressing Ben up against the wall as he passionately kissed him, all tongues and teeth as Callum unzipped Ben’s coat and grabbed hold of his waist, untucking his shirt so that he could run his hands up and down his bare back, Ben moaning into Callum’s mouth.

“Jesus Callum” Ben said breaking away breathlessly. “If we carry on like this we are going to have to ring in sick and get the hell out of here”

“I would be up for that” Callum whispered into Ben’s hair.

“Calm down new boy, you are still supposed to be making a good impression.”

“As long as I have made one on you that’s all I care about” Callum said grabbing hold of Ben’s head and pulling him back into a kiss, slipping his tongue straight back into Ben’s mouth.

Ben’s heart was beating out of his chest as they kissed harder and harder, the blood going straight to his crotch as Callum’s hand slipped to his ass which he squeezed tight. He moaned again into Callum’s mouth. Surely it was illegal to be this turned on at 8.30 in the morning in a dark alleyway, but wow, it felt so good. He didn’t want to stop, but he knew he was going to have to, just so he could breathe.

As Ben pulled back again, Callum felt stunned. His heart beat was throbbing in his chest and in his temples. He felt like he was on fire. Breathing deeply, he realised that he still had his hand on Ben’s ass, groping him in the middle of a dark alleyway. He chuckled as he squeezed once more and then let go.   
“Wow” Callum exclaimed. “It is going to be interesting day today, it’s going to be a challenge not to touch you.”

“I’ve got meetings, that will help.” Ben said, gently placing a hand through Callum’s hair.

“Don’t go to them, stay and play with me.” Callum placed his hand on Ben’s cheek.

“Hmm, I’d love to, but I can’t.”

Callum stepped back. “Shame”

“We had better get in, they’ll be starting to wonder where I am, I’m usually in by now.”

“Do you want to go in first?” Callum asked.

“Na, we can go in together. I just bumped into you in the car park” Ben winked, as they headed off towards the office, smoothing down their hair and clothes as they walked.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Ben to move forward?
> 
> Hope you enjoy :-)

“Message me once it’s done yeah?” Callum said. They were standing next to Ben’s car in the empty car park.

“Yeah ok” Ben said. He was feeling sick, the colour had gone from his face as it sunk in what was really about to happen.

“I wish that I could come with you, but I know that I can’t. I just want to know that you are ok though ok?” Callum said, taking Ben’s hand.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I better go.”

Callum pressed a soft kiss to Ben’s lips

“I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

“I’ll text as soon as I can”

Callum stood watching as Ben waved and drove away.

Walking back to his own car, Callum tried his best to stay calm, sitting in the driver’s seat he closed the door and shut his eyes taking a couple of deep breaths. He hated that Ben was going to have to go through this, but there wasn’t an option, Callum knew that it was quick, but he had no doubt that they were falling in love and he wasn’t going to give it up. Whilst he felt bad for Shane, he had to focus on his feelings and Ben’s, and also this couldn’t be good for Shane either, they were in a loveless relationship and maybe he would be free now to find the right person for him now as well. But he knew it wasn’t going to be that simple. There was no way that he would give Ben up without a fight and he couldn’t help but be scared that Shane would feel the same way.

As Ben approached his road, the sickness he felt really multiplied, as did the beating of his heart, but as he parked the anticipation was killing him, and there was no time like the present, he had to do this. He climbed out of his car and headed inside.

Shane was lying on the sofa reading the paper.

“Babe you’re here.” He said jumping off and heading over to Ben, placing his hands on Ben’s arms he went to pull Ben towards him as Ben shrugged him off.

“Ben? What’s up?”

Ben took a deep breath, it was now or never.

“Shane, I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry” Ben said sadly.

“What are you talking about?” Shane looked confused.

“Us, you and me. I want to end this, end us”

“What?” Shane looked stunned “Is this because of last night?”

“No of course not” Ben said sitting down on the sofa. 

“Then why? I don’t understand.” Shane’s lip began to quiver

Ben took a deep breath. “Because I don’t love you.” 

“Wwwhat?” A small tear ran down Shane’s face. “What do you mean? We’re happy, I mean not like madly in love crazy happy, but it’ll do won’t it? We get on, we get by, I love you, you love me.”

“You don’t love me Shane”

“I do” Shane said sitting next to Ben and trying to take hold of Ben’s hand. Ben pulled his hand away.

“Shane” Ben exhaled, closing his eyes “you know you don’t love me. You want to, and I wanted you to, and I wanted to love you, but it just isn’t there.”

“Of course it is, come on. We’re a family.”

“Shane this is not right, it’s bad for the girls, it’s fucked up and fake, and we are setting them such a bad example, showing them a family like this. A family should be full of love and this just isn’t”

Shane looked at Ben sadly. 

“We can try harder, can’t we?”

“I don’t want to.” Ben said firmly. “We’re settling for something, and I can’t do it anymore, it’s over.”

“And” Ben continued “I don’t want this for me or for you. I want to be happy, and I want you to be happy too, with someone who makes you happy”

There was a brief silence before Shane spoke again.

“You’ve met someone haven’t you?”

Ben froze, looking at Shane shocked.

“I knew it.” Shane stood up, glaring at Ben. “You come in here with all this crap of caring about me, being unhappy. It’s all lies isn’t it? Who is it? Come on, who is he?”

“Shane” Ben sighed.

“TELL ME!” Shane shouted.

“Look”

“I SAID TELL ME!” Shane leant over Ben, he could feel the fury coming off him.

“It’s a guy at work”

“What guy? Who is he?” Shane’s started to throw his arms about.

“You don’t know him.”

“AND WHAT? YOU LOVE HIM? YOU WANT HIM?”

“Yes” Ben whispered.

Shane choked out a sob. “How could you do this?”

“I’m sorry, but this isn’t really about him?”

“Then what is it about?”

“I told you, we are broken, in fact I don’t think we were ever right in the first place. And now I know what it should feel like, being happy, in a real relationship, what it feels like to love and be loved, and we have never had that. Come on, you know that”

Shane continued to look at Ben. “I don’t know anything of the sort, you are just trying to make yourself feel better because you are scum, a cheating scumbag. So you want to be with him then?”

“Yes, I do”

“Well, go on then, go be with him.” Shane said angrily. “Get out”

“Shane, I don’t want to leave things like this.”

“I don’t care what you want. JUST GET OUT!” Shane’s arms flailed up as his voice raised, his face red and his eyes furious.

“Ok, ok.” Ben said standing up, “I’ll go. Are you going to be ok?”

Shane just glared, as Ben walked out.

Back in his car, Ben was shaking. He had done it, he had ended it, he quickly grabbed his phone, finding Callum’s address he put it into his car sat nav and drove away.

Callum checked his phone again. Still no message. Standing up from the sofa he started to pace around his living room. It had been over half an hour, and still nothing from Ben. What was going on? He could feel himself going crazy, his heart pounding, he could feel a headache coming. He wandered over to the kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard going over to the sink he filled it with water. Just as he turned to go and get some paracetamol the buzzer went, there was someone at the door. He walked over and grabbed the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Cal, can I come in?” Ben sniffed.

“Yeah, yeah of course” Callum felt the relief flooding through him.

Ben entered the flat, and as Callum took one look at him he could see the state he was in. Pulling Ben into his arms Ben collapsed into his sobbing. “It’s done” he cried into Callum’s shoulder. “It’s done.”

“I’m so proud of you” Callum whispered into his hair, wrapping his arms tightly around Ben.  
“Thank you”

“For what?” Ben looked up at Callum, his eyes and nose red.

“For choosing me.”

Ben smiled softly. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”

Callum gently kissed Ben, “come in and sit down, I’ll get you a beer”

“Ok” Ben said, taking off his coat and taking a seat on the sofa. Callum walked swiftly to the kitchen grabbing 2 beers from the fridge and taking a seat next to him and handing one to Ben who immediately took a big gulp.

“How did it go?”

“Not good, he hates me. He called me a cheating scumbag.”

“You told him about me?”

“He figured it out, and I wasn’t going to lie. He chucked me out.”

“You can stay here tonight.”

“Thanks Cal. I feel such a bastard. He really had no idea. He thought we were happy.”

“You aren’t a bastard. You are the most wonderful person in the world, and you are brave and beautiful.”

“I don’t feel any of those things right now” Ben said taking the beer from Callum “I better give Marie a call, Lexi’s mum, she’ll need to prepare Lex. I’m not sure what he’s going to do Cal, he’s so angry.”

“It’ll be ok Ben, I’ll be right here with you. Anything you need.”

As Ben went into the hallway to phone Marie, Callum took a seat. He felt excited, delighted, but also apprehensive. There was going to be so much fallout to this, and there were 2 little girls involved. He started to feel panic rising, what had they done? But as Ben reappeared following his call, the loving feelings filled Callum’s body, there was no other option, he was crazy about Ben and no matter what the consequences they would make it through together.

“What did she say?” Callum asked as Ben took a seat next to him on the sofa.

“She was amazing.” Ben turned to Callum smiling. “She wanted to know all about you of course, but she said that she had never thought that I was really happy, and as it turns out had never exactly been Shane’s biggest fan, she’s kept that quiet.” Ben chuckled lightly. “She wants me to go over there and talk to Lex tonight, she thinks I should stay there for a bit, you know let the dust settle with Shane”

“Oh” Callum said, looking a bit disappointed.

“Don’t think anything of it. She’s really wants to meet you. But I think me staying here might not be the best idea, I’ve only just ended it with him, and you know I don’t want us jumping into anything too quick.”

“Right”

“Cal, I want to be with you. I do.” Ben said seriously. “But I want it to be right, I don’t want to rush it, and me staying here tonight, well, things are such a mess, and I don’t want things to start like this with us, I want it to be perfect.”

“It’s fine Ben, I get it.”

“No you don’t” Ben said taking Callum’s hand and rubbing his thumb over Callum’s knuckles. “You must know that I want to jump you right now yeah?”

Callum chuckled.

“And I know that you want to jump me. But it’s not the time. I need to get my head on straight, and sort this out. I need to make sure that Lex is ok, and then I can focus on you and me. That’s what I want ok? You and me.

“I get it, I do. I know you are right, it’s just hard, I just don’t want to wait!”

Ben laughed. “It won’t be much longer. Look, give me tonight to sort Lex out, and then why don’t we go for a drink after work tomorrow?”

“Ok” Callum smiled.

“I better go” Ben said getting up. “Marie wants me over there for dinner, so that we can spend a few hours chatting about it all together before Lex goes to bed. I’ll text you later yeah?”

“I’d like that.”

Standing on Callum’s doorstep Ben gave Callum a quick kiss as he turned and walked to his car.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this isn't great, I haven't had time to proof read!
> 
> Happy Christmas everyone :-) xx

Marie and Jason’s house was warm and inviting, a semi-detached 3 bed house with a conservatory on the back. Wandering into the living room Ben found Jason sat on the large corner sofa with Lexi lying on the small chez-lunge in the corner reading a book.

“Hey Jase, you ok? Evening sweetheart!” Ben said brightly.

Lexi dropped the book, jumping up and running into Ben’s open arms. “Daddy what are you doing here?”

“Alright Ben?” Jason smiled, getting up off the sofa. “Beer?”

“Yeah, cheers” Ben said turning back to Lexi “Well, mum and I wanted to have a chat with you tonight about some stuff, so I’ve come for tea”

“Are we getting a puppy?” Lexi’s eyes lit up.

“No baby” Ben laughed “That would be a conversation for you, mum and Jason wouldn’t it, not me!”

Marie appeared from the kitchen. “Perfect timing, dinner is on the table”

Later after dinner, Jason kindly stayed in the kitchen cleaning up as Marie and Ben took a seat on the sofa with Lexi inbetween them.

Marie decided to start the conversation. “So Lex, dad has popped over tonight so that we can have a chat about some things that are changing. Ok?”

“Ok” Lexi said, her eyes wide.

“It’s nothing to be scared of baby” Marie continued. “And everything is alright.”

Lexi turned and looked at Ben.

“So sweetheart, I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be living with Shane anymore”

“Are you going to live here with us?”

“No” Ben laughed gently, “this is mum and Jason’s house. I am going to be getting my own house, just for me, and you when you come and stay with me. But Shane won’t be with me anymore, do you understand?” Ben asked nervously.

Lexi looked at Ben, then at Marie, and then back at Ben.

“So, did you and Shane break up?”

Ben took a deep breath. “Yes baby, yes we have, I’m not with Shane anymore.”

“Ok” Lexi said. 

Ben and Marie looked at each other. 

“Lex?” Marie asked.

“Yeah?”

“Do you understand what dad is saying?”

“Yes mum, I know what breaking up means.”

“Right. So you know that you won’t be seeing Shane anymore.”

“Yeah, ok” Lexi said jumping off the sofa and walking towards the kitchen. “Are we having ice cream?”

“Hang on a minute” Marie said. “Come back here missy.”

“What?” Lexi whined. “I want ice cream”

“Lexi, sit down” Marie said firmly.

“Right, so what dad is saying Lexi” Marie said gently. “Is that dad is going to be living in a different house, so you will have a new room, and you won’t see Shane or Suzy anymore. So you won’t be going to the swings with them, or having your Saturday night takeaways, or your film nights.”

“Mum, I know” Lexi said pouting. “I get it, I like Suzy, but she’s not my best friend, I have lots of friends.”

“And Shane?” Marie asked delicately.

“Well he was never my favourite. I much prefer Jase. Can I go now? I want one of Jason’s sundaes” Lexi looked at Marie and then at Ben.

“Sure sweetheart.” Ben smiled as Lexi ran off to the kitchen shouting Jason’s name.

“Well that was easier than I thought.” Marie said. 

“Do you really think that she is alright” Ben asked her.

“Ben” Marie said, putting her arm around him. “To be honest, I don’t think she was ever that keen on Shane. Sorry.”

“God I feel terrible, I had no idea.” Ben looked panicked.

“She didn’t hate him, but I don’t think he’s going to massively miss him. Don’t feel bad Ben, if I thought that she wasn’t ok I would have told you. It’s just that”

“What?” Ben felt sick with guilt.

“He’s just a bit of a twat really” Marie chuckled. “Always being a bit of child, wanting your attention, and come on you weren’t happy and I think that Lex picked up on that a bit. She’s not scarred Ben, she’s fine, don’t feel bad. I think that it was worst for you than anyone else. I’m actually pretty glad that you are out of it.”

“Mar, why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Ben, it wasn’t for me to say. I want you to be happy, I hope that you are now, with this er?”

“Callum?” Ben said smiling.

“Yeah Callum. Look at you!” Marie said smiling back at Ben. “You are already so much happier, this is a good thing Ben. I know it will be tricky for a bit with Shane, but it will be better in the long run. And we’re here for you, you know that. Why don’t you stay with us for a bit, a few weeks while you sort yourself out. I’m happy to help you find somewhere else to live, love a bit of house hunting. And…” Marie said slapping Ben’s thigh “when am I going to meet this new man of yours? I’m very excited!!”

“Soon, soon, you can meet him soon.” Ben smiled. “But yeah, thanks for letting me stay, if that’s ok, I will just for a week or so, I’ll find somewhere to rent whilst I get my stuff out of Shane’s. We were only renting anyway, so I’ll speak to the agency and get my name off the tenancy. “

“Not going to be staying at Callum’s then?” Marie winked.

“It’s early days Mar” Ben blushed. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t” Marie said. “Smitten kitten” she laughed as she stood up, walking towards the kitchen to see what Lexi and Jason were up to.

Callum sat trying to watch some random programme on TV. He hadn’t been able to eat anything since Ben left, his stomach in knots, just waiting to hear from him. His mind was working overtime, what if Lexi was devastated, would Ben go back to Shane. This could all be over before it even had the chance to begin.

At 9 Callum’s phone rang. Ben.

“Hey”

“Hey yourself, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, is Lexi ok?”

“Do you know what? She is absolutely fine, not at all bothered. Turns out she never really liked Shane little minx, just that no one told me!”

“Really?” Callum exhaled a breath he didn’t even realise that he was holding.

“Yeah.” Ben laughed. “Me and Marie talked to her and went over it, made sure that she understood, but she wasn’t bothered at all. I’m going to stay here with them for a bit while I look for somewhere to live, then I can clear my stuff out of Shane’s. If he hasn’t set fire to it all!”

“Do you really think that he would?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to go back tomorrow, make sure that he is ok.”

“Right.”

“I’m sorry”

“What for?”

“Having to deal with this mess”

“It’s ok Ben.” Callum paused. “I don’t mind, you are worth the wait.”

Ben chuckled “Do you fancy meeting somewhere, just for a nightcap?”

“Where?”

“Er, the Anchor?”

“I’ll see you in half an hour”

“Keen or what?”

Callum laughed hanging up.

Callum arrived first, heading straight for the bar and ordering 2 pints, he had come in a taxi, not wanting to be concerned about alcohol consumption and driving. He was going to need a couple of drinks to help to stifle his nerves, this after all feeling like a first proper date with Ben.

Ben arrived a few mins later, looking much calmer than he had earlier in the evening.

“I got you a pint” Callum said, moving the glass towards him. They stood at the bar staring at each other, neither really knowing what to do next.

“Shall we find a seat?” Ben suggested. Callum nodding in agreement and following him through the pub. Ben found a quiet corner with a booth and sat down, Callum sitting next to him.

“So” Callum smiled shyly. “How does newly single feel?”

“I didn’t realise that I was” Ben smiled back.

“Well, er,” Callum stuttered.

“Unless, you no longer want this?”

Callum leant over, taking Ben’s face in his hands and kissed him. “I definitely still want this. I just didn’t want to rush you”

“Callum, I have spent years wasting time, I don’t want to waste anymore.” Ben said seriously, taking Callum’s hand in his and interlocking their fingers. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, I’ve got to find somewhere to live, and untangle my life from Shane’s and he’s not going to make it easy that’s for certain. But I’m out now, I’m away from him. I’m yours if you want me”

“I want you more than anything” Callum whispered. “I have done since the day we met”

“That’s good then” Ben giggled. “But I need you to bear with me while I get all this sorted. We might need to take this one step at a time”

“Whatever you need, I’ll be here, however long it takes” Callum said squeezing Ben’s hand.

“You really are the best.” Ben said sighing. Callum could see him physically relaxing, his shoulders lowering and the crease upon his forehead reducing. 

“But” Callum said, as Ben looked at him, “I do need a little something to keep me going” Callum leaned across and gave Ben a gentle kiss, as he moved away Ben grabbed his face and pulled him back in, slipping his tongue softly into Callum’s mouth, deepening the kiss.

“Don’t worry” Ben said seductively looking into Callum’s eyes, “We’re going to keep moving forward Cal, I don’t have that much patience!”

Callum laughed.

“But I do want to be respectful to Shane. He obviously knows you exist, but I don’t want you and him to meet anytime soon, that would just be mean. He needs to come to terms with this.”

“He loves you I get it’s hard.”

“It’s not that Cal, I don’t really think that he does, love me I mean. I think he was just happy being settled, and I would do.”

“Ben” Callum scowled.

“No, I’m not selling myself short, I know you want me” Ben winked. “I just think that there is something better for Shane, I know that there is, because what we had, was well, now after talking to Lex, it was kind of stupid. It’s amazing how you think that you are doing the right thing and doing what everyone else wants, maybe sometimes you should actually ask them!”

Callum laughed.

“Thank god I met you Cal”

“So what does that make me? Your hero?”

“Oh yes” Ben said pulling Callum back in for another kiss.

As they stood outside waiting for their taxis, Callum turned to Ben. “You know you could just come home with me, I’m happy to drive you to the office tomorrow”

“One step at a time yeah?” Ben said pulling Callum into a hug. “don’t tempt me” he whispered in Callum’s ear as he heard the cars pull up. “I’ll see you tomorrow”. Ben kissed Callum on the cheek, releasing himself from the hug and got into the car.

Callum walked to his own cab, heart thundering inside him. Finally, he thought to himself, me and Ben, as the car pulled out of the pub car park.


	16. Chapter 16

Ben arrived early at the office as usual the following day, to find Callum already there.

“Morning gorgeous” Callum said turning to face Ben.

“Shh.” Ben smiled back.

“Don’t worry, no one is in yet” Callum chuckled. “I wanted to see you before they all got in. Are you ok? Did you sleep ok?”

“Yeah, not too bad. It’s weird, I’m obviously happy, I am Cal, but I feel really bad” Ben said taking a seat.

“Have you heard from Shane?” Callum asked.

“No, which really is strange, but I guess he is still angry with me.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Callum leant on the arm of his chair.

“Well, I need to go back to the house and get some more stuff. I thought I would do that at lunchtime, hopefully he’ll be at work”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“I was kind of hoping you could get some lunch for me?” Ben smiled softly “Sorry to be cheeky, but I’m not sure I’ll have enough time to get there, get what I need and get back if I have to stop and get some food, and I don’t feel right making a sandwich there.”

“Course, it’s ok, I wanna help anyway I can” Callum moved his chair closer to Ben’s “come here” he said, putting his hand up to Ben’s face and pulling him in for a quick kiss. “I know it’s hard, but I’m here, and I can’t wait for us to really start.”

Ben smiled. “I thought we already had?”

“Really?” Callum said excitedly.

“Well yeah, I mean I’m crazy about you Cal.”

“Morning” Lola called across the room as Ben and Callum jumped back and settled on to their relevant desks.

At lunchtime Ben got into the car ready to head back to his old home. He really hoped that Shane would be at work. He just wanted to grab enough clothes for a few weeks, clear as much of Lexi’s things that he could and also find their tenancy agreement. He knew that they were on a rolling month contract for the house now, but he needed to understand what the next steps were for him to be removed.

As he pulled up outside he took a deep breath as he took his key out of the car ignition and headed to the front door. At the door he paused, unsure of whether he should ring the doorbell or use his key. Opting to use the key in the hope that Shane wasn’t there he walked into the house. He went straight to the bedroom, opening the wardrobe he grabbed a suitcase and started to fill it with clothes as quickly as he could, heading quickly into the bathroom to grab his toiletries. With the suitcase full he dashed down to the car and put it into the boot. He then headed back into Lexi’s room, grabbing another bag he filled it with her clothes and toys, relieved that most of it fit into 2 bags. He then headed back down the stairs and popped the bags on the backseat.

Heading back to the house he wasn’t sure what else he should do. Deciding that he should leave Shane a note, and remembering that the tenancy agreement was in the living room cupboard, he headed back in to the living room. As he walked into the room Ben stopped feeling slightly strange, it felt like there was a weird atmosphere in there, turning slightly he could see something in the corner of his eye and as he looked down he saw Shane sleeping on the sofa. Ben sighed, next to him on the floor were 2 bottles of wine, and also some small boxes, as Ben moved closer he felt the breath leave his body as he realised what the boxes were, packets of paracetamol. The adrenaline kicked in as he launched forward grabbing Shane’s wrist, and feeling for a pulse, relief flooding his body as he felt a weak one. He reached immediately into his pocket, grabbing his phone and dialling 999.

Callum was stood in the queue at their café, he was going to get Ben a ham salad wrap, crisps and a cappuccino. As he approached the counter he noticed that they had some nice homemade biscuits so he thought he would grab one of those for Ben as well.   
It made him feel warm inside picking up lunch for Ben. His Ben, his other half. Nothing lovelier at lunchtime then to pick something up for the one that you love. Love. That took his breath away, he really was falling in love with Ben, it was quite scary.   
Callum arrived back at the office 10 minutes later, he put Ben’s lunch on his desk, he would be back soon. Callum couldn’t help but feel excited. Ben was moving his stuff out of Shane’s, they were really moving forward now. As he sat in the empty office eating his sandwich, he couldn’t help but let his imagination wander, Ben walking back in later telling him how his stuff was in his car, Ben in the pub with him, wearing his gorgeous black shirt, Ben in his house on the sofa, Ben in his bed. He felt a stirring in his trousers and a flush in his cheeks as Lola walked back in looking stressed.

“You ok Lo?” Callum asked.

“Ben just called, it’s Shane”

“What’s er, what’s wrong?” Callum could feel his heart pumping in his chest and his throat tightening.

“Something’s happened, Ben’s had to rush him to hospital.”


	17. Chapter 17

Callum felt sick, what had happened? What did this mean for him and Ben? God he was an asshole, Shane was ill and all he could think about was how this impacted him. But he wanted Ben so badly, and he was terrified that Ben was going to change his mind. It had all been going so well, and Ben had left Shane and was looking at getting his own place, it was the final hurdle to them being together and now this.

“Lo, what’s happened?”

“I’m not sure, he didn’t say. He had just arrived at the hospital, Shane had been rushed in and he called to say that he wasn’t coming back in today.”

“Right, right” Callum said trying to act casually, despite the blood pumping through his temples.  
He pulled his phone out of his pocket holding it in his hand he didn’t know what to write. Typing out various messages and deleting them he decided to settle on something simple.

I heard about Shane, I hope you are ok, I’m here x

Callum placed his phone on his desk, willing Ben to reply. The phone remained silent.  
An hour later Callum went to his weekly purchasing meeting. It was agony watching the clock, hoping for the time to pass, and having to act normally. All he could think about was Ben, what on earth had happened? Was he ok? What was wrong with Shane? He was silently losing his mind with the worry when he finally felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. As he quickly pulled it out he saw the notification, finally a reply from Ben.

Shane took an overdose. I’m going to be here for a while, so can’t talk much sorry x

Callum felt his heart drop into his stomach. Oh god, no, it was the worst thing ever. He excused himself from the meeting, dashing to the toilets and into a cubicle as he could feel the tears falling. Shit, what had they done?

Ben stepped back into the waiting room as Suzy’s mum Julie arrived. Pulling Ben into a tight hug, Julie gave him a squeeze as Ben eased himself out of her embrace.

“What the hell happened Ben? Are you ok?”

“He took an overdose Julie” Ben said looking down.

“Oh my god.” Julie went pale. “But why?”

Ben exhaled gently. “We split up yesterday, I left. I found him at lunchtime, he took a load of paracetamol with some wine. He’s going to be ok.”

“Thank god” Julie said. “Don’t blame yourself Ben, it was his choice to do this.”

“Please don’t be nice to me” Ben said, avoiding Julie’s gaze “I met someone else”

“Oh” Julie said uncomfortably. “I see. Does he know?”

“Yes”

“Right.” Julie said quietly.

“You can hate me, it’s ok. I hate myself.” Ben said sadly.

“I don’t hate you Ben, I have no right to. But you need to get this sorted out, I can’t have him doing this to Suze”

“You expect me to go back?” Ben exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“No of course not. It’s not my business to tell you guys how to handle your relationship, but I need him to be stable for my daughter Ben.”

“I’m sorry”

“You don’t need to apologise. What can I do to help?”

“Go in and see him. He’s awake, but he doesn’t want to see me, and I think that he needs to see a friendly face.”

“Of course” Julie said heading over to reception. As she was being taken into the cubicles by a nurse she turned and smiled at Ben. He sighed and took a seat again in the waiting room.

Ben sat feeling terrible waiting for Julie to return. His mind turned to Callum. He didn’t know what he was going to do.

Julie came back 10 minutes later as Ben remained in the waiting room seats.  
“He’s ok Ben, really” Julie said as she took a seat next to Ben. “He’s just waiting on the hospital counsellor, then they are planning to release him, I’m going to take him home with me. He is upset, really upset about you and him, but he knows that he has Suzy and she is the most important thing now”

“That’s great, thank god” Ben said as Julie took his hand. “I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt him like this”

“Look Ben, I think that you should go.” Julie said calmly.

“Wwwhat?” Ben stuttered.

“He doesn’t want to see you, and I think you being here will just make things harder. I’ll keep you updated on how he is, but I want him to focus on the things he does have in his life, on Suze, and you, well, he doesn’t have you anymore does he? So it’s best that you aren’t here”

“But-“

“Look Ben, I get it. I never really thought that you two were that suited. You don’t have that much in common, but he does love you, and this has hurt him, I can’t lie about that. But he will be ok. He needs time though and you being around, well, it just makes it worse.”

Ben looked down sadly, sighing he knew that Julie was right.

“Just go home, I’ll pop over later and get some stuff for him, if you could pack a bag for me that would be great yeah?” Julie gently touched Ben’s arm.

“Um, yeah ok.” Ben said getting up. “Just tell him, tell him, I’m sorry”

“Of course I will, I’ll see you later.”

Ben left the hospital in a daze. His car was still at his old house as he had come in the ambulance with Shane, and he realised that his wallet was in his jacket pocket that was in the car. He sighed taking out his phone and called Callum, who answered on the first ring.

“Ben? Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m at the hospital.”

“Do you want me to come?”

“Yeah, can you? I’ve left my wallet in my car at the house and I came in the ambulance”

“Of course, I’ll be there in 15 mins”

“Thanks Cal”

Callum jumped in his car, his heart racing. Ben called, thank god he called, and he asked me to come, Callum thought. All good things, all good signs. He still felt terrible about Shane, he knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, but he hadn’t ever thought that this was going to happen. As he pulled up outside the main entrance to the hospital he spotted Ben leaning against a wall. He looked so pale and small, and Callum’s heart went out to him. Guilt written all over his face. As Ben noticed the car he wandered over, opening the passenger door and getting in.

Callum looked at him smiling softly as he put the car into gear and pulled away.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry for the delay in this chapter.  
> It's been a tricky time, and life hasn't been too good, but let's hope things will be better soon.  
> I also didn't think that anyone was reading this, so sorry again for making you wait!  
> Hope you enjoy, take care all and stay safe :-)

“Er, where do you want to go?” Callum asked gently.

“I need to go back to the house and pack some stuff for Shane.”

“Are they keeping him in?” Callum asked as he drove out of the hospital.

“No, he’s going to go and stay with Suzy and her mum”

“Oh right”

“God Cal” Ben exhaled sharply, put his head in his hands. “What have I done?”

Callum felt his blood run cold.  
“It’s not your fault Ben” Callum whispered.

“Then who’s fault is it Callum?” Ben said sharply. “I leave and he does this. What if I hadn’t found him?”

“But you did, and he’s ok that’s the main thing”

“He’s not ok though is he? He’s hurt, so hurt that he did this. Because of me, because I met you and I left.” Ben said, his voice starting to shake as his eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry.” Callum said.

“Don’t apologise” Ben sighed “it isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I was so carried away being happy, that I forgot about how this was going to impact him.”

“You didn’t know this was going to happen”

“I know but-”

“No buts Ben.” Callum said firmly as he turned into Ben’s old road, pulling up beside his car. “Can I come in with you?”

“I, er” Ben shifted in the seat.

“Please? Just for a bit, I don’t want to leave you feeling like this.”

“Ok”

As they walked into the house Ben shuddered as he looked at the sofa. The empty wine bottles and packets were still on the floor.

“Why don’t we go into the kitchen?” Callum gently suggested.

“Yeah”

They took a seat at the kitchen table, Ben with his head down as Callum softly took one of Ben’s hands in his.

“He was just lying there Cal, I thought he was dead.” Ben said, a small tear falling down his cheek. “How can this have happened? I thought he would be ok, I thought that he felt the same. We have never been happy, I want him to be happy too”

Callum stoked his thumb over Ben’s knuckles as Ben continued.

“And what do I do now? Julie said that he doesn’t want to see me, he’s hurt, so hurt that he did this. She wants him to focus on Suzy, what would she have done, if he, if he…” Ben started to sob as Callum pulled him into his arms letting Ben’s tears soak his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry” Callum whispered into Ben’s hair.

Ben tears began to subside. “I’m sorry Cal, I can’t, we can’t, I just feel…”

Callum slowly stroked his thumb down Ben’s cheek. “Ben, I’ll still be here, no matter how long this takes. I’m crazy about you, you need to be there for Shane, for Suzy, I totally get that. I’ll wait for you, if you still want me to.”

“Of course I do.” Ben softly smiled. “Thank you” he whispered.

Upstairs in the bedroom Ben placed Shane’s clothing and toiletries into Shane’s travel bag as Callum waited downstairs making tea. Ben paused, standing for a while looking around the bedroom that had been theirs. His and Shane’s, where he had spent all of that time pretending to be happy. A shiver ran through his body as he thought of how Shane must have been feeling the last time that he had been there, and a sad tear fell down his face.   
How were they ever going to get through this?

As Ben walked out of the room his heart felt heavy. Callum was stood by the kettle stirring the tea, as Ben entered the room he gave him a small smile.  
“I er, made some tea”

“Thanks” Ben said softly, grabbing a mug and taking a seat at the table.

“Look Cal” Ben said his hands gripping the mug. “I er, I need to take these bits over to Julie’s”

“Ok” Callum said sitting opposite Ben.

“And then I want to see if er, Shane will see me.”

Ben paused.

“I need to be there for him Cal. If he’ll let me.”

“I get it Ben” Callum said.

Ben spoke again, awkwardly “But I don’t know, you know, about this. You and me, right now.”

Ben paused again.

“I still er, you know, still want this, want us”

Callum took Ben’s hand. “Ben I meant what I said, I get it, and I’ll wait, no matter how long it takes, as long as you still want me, I still want you.”

“I do” Ben said softly, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to Callum’s lips “I’ll always want you, I just need to try and help Shane”

“Of course you do” Callum said “And I’ll be here, however much or little you want me to be. I’m yours Ben”

Ben smiled and took a sip of his tea.

“I’m sorry Cal, I need to go, I just want to get to Julie’s and see how things are. I just need to know how he is”

“That’s ok” Callum said stroking Ben’s face softly, “I’ll go home. Call me, text me, come by, anytime you want. I don’t care what the time is ok?”   
Callum stood up and headed to the door, turning back to face Ben. “I mean it. Anytime.”

Arriving at Julie’s Ben took a deep breath as he approached the door carrying Shane’s bag. Julie opened the door before he reached it. “Hiya” she smiled softly at him.

“How is he?” Ben asked. 

“He’s doing ok. Is that his stuff?” Julie smiled, taking the bag from Ben.

“Yeah, here you go. Can I come in? See him?”

“No, sorry Ben. He’s adamant he doesn’t want to see you, and I have to respect his wishes. You aren’t together anymore, you can’t have it both ways.” Julie stood, blocking the door.

“I know, but, I just want to make sure that he is ok” Ben said pleading.

“It isn’t about what you want Ben though is it? I’m sorry, I know that you care, and I’ll be in touch ok, keep you updated but you need to stay away and leave him with us, his family. 

Ben’s head dropped. “Sure, of course, I’m sorry.”

“Ben” Julie said, stepping towards him and putting a hand on his arm. “Look I don’t blame you for this. It’s really sad that the two of you didn’t work out, I get it, you weren’t in love, and no one should stay in a relationship when they aren’t happy, but you got there first ok? You realised this, Shane needs some time to catch up, he needs some love and support to get through this, and you being around, well, it is just going to make everything worse. You need to go, I don’t want him to see you. Leave him alone. Please”

“Ok” Ben said, stepping back from the door. “Please though, just keep me up to date, I just want to know he is ok”

“I will, I promise.” Julie said as she turned and walked back into the house, gently closing the door behind her.

Ben walked back to his car getting back in and quickly driving away as the tears started to fall down his face.


	19. Chapter 19

It had been 3 long hard days of silence for Callum. He didn’t want to bother Ben, but not talking to him was killing him, as was going into work and acting like everything was normal.  
Lola had simply told the team that Ben needed some time off to deal with some family things and had left it at that. Even using the word family had stung Callum, with the insinuation that Shane was Ben’s family and he wasn’t. He longed to see him, be near him, or just hear his voice but he hadn’t wanted to push. But now arriving home from work 3 days in to this silence, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer, his heart ached from missing him, and he was tired of longing to have any kind of contact so decided to at least test the water and see what reaction he got, sending a simple text.

Hi. I just wanted to check in and say hi x

Callum immediately squirmed after he had sent the message. How rubbish was that? What would Ben think, and why had he said hi twice?   
Placing his phone down on the side he went to get changed into his running gear, maybe a hard run would help to clear his head. He wasn’t expecting a response from Ben after all, and having sent such a bad text he had a knot in his stomach.  
He left his phone on the kitchen side, quickly going into his bedroom to change. Returning to the kitchen to grab a glass of water he heard the familiar vibration of his phone receiving a text.

Hi

His heart was in his throat, it was Ben.

I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet, it’s been difficult.

Callum leant against the kitchen counter, his heart thumping as he saw the bubbles on his message screen. Ben was writing more.

I miss you x

With trembling hands he replied.

It’s ok, I understand x

I miss you too x

Are you ok? x

Ben replied instantly.

Can I see you? x

Callum couldn’t believe it

Yes, yes, of course, when? Where? x 

Ben replied again.

Now? Can I come to yours? x 

Callum hands continued to tremble as he replied.

Yes, I’m home, come now x

Ok, I’ll see you soon x

Callum ran back to his bedroom to change, this was not a moment for workout gear, finding a nice pair of jeans and his white shirt, he splashed on some aftershave and quickly styled his hair, then heading into the bathroom to clean off the aftershave, this was not a moment for that, but then was it? In two minds he decided to leave it washed off, there was plenty of time for that. But Ben was coming, he was going to see him Callum felt nervous, all he wanted to do was take Ben in his arms, hug him, kiss him, run his fingers through Ben’s hair, but he was going to have to take his lead from Ben. As he continued to pace his living room trying to figure out how to be the moment was upon him as his doorbell rang.  
Racing to the door Callum tried to act as casual as possible as he opened the door to Ben, who stood there looking tired and fragile and launched himself immediately into Callum’s arms.

Callum grabbed hold of him as Ben started to sob, pulling him inside and closing the door behind him, he walked backwards and gently eased Ben into the living room and onto the sofa next to him, as Ben continued to cry into his chest, he ran his fingers through his hair, soothing the top of his head with gentle kisses.

Ben felt completely shattered. In the 3 days since he had last seen Callum his head and heart had been all over the place. Julie kept in touch messaging him each morning and evening. They had been keeping Shane occupied with Suzy and between them, and he had even gone back into work today. But nothing had changed and he still wanted nothing to do with Ben, he thought about trying to text him or call, or send him a letter but Julie advised against it and he didn’t want to make things worse. The guilt had been eating him up, he was devastated that he had caused this much pain to Shane, fortunately Suzy knew nothing of it, and he also hadn’t told Lexi, who continued to not miss Shane at all.  
Then there was Callum.  
He had missed Callum desperately. Missed talking to him, seeing him, getting to know him, touching him. But he felt too guilty to reach out to him. Guilty over moving on when Shane was in so much pain, and guilty for dragging Callum into the mess that he had made. But then Callum had text him and he couldn’t wait anymore, couldn’t bear to be away from him any longer, so he had jumped at the chance to see him and got straight in the car.

Now leaning of Callum’s chest, sobbing into him, he felt the terrible guilt all over again.

“Sorry” Ben mumbled as he lifted himself off Callum.

“Don’t be daft” Callum said cupping Ben’s face in his hands. “I told you, I am always here, even to be your sponge!”

Ben smiled slightly. “Thanks”

“Anytime remember?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry”

“Stop saying that.”

“For not being around. I’ve wanted to see you, but, but”

“I know, you are too busy beating yourself up for all of this”

“Well I made a right mess of it didn’t I?”

“You didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“But”

“No. Now is not about looking back, it’s about looking forward, making sure that Shane is ok, and that you are too.”

“I suppose”

“How is he?”

“Julie says he is doing well. He still won’t talk to me. I don’t know if he ever will again. And, I hate that, but I get it. I hurt him so bad Cal” Ben sat up, putting his head in his hands.  
Callum placed an arm around him, pulling Ben closer to him. 

“You didn’t mean to”

“But I still did.” Ben sighed. “I guess I need to respect his wishes and leave him alone, and hope that one day he can forgive me. Julie said it’s easier if I am not around.”

“Yeah”

Ben sighed again. “I’m going to start looking at houses, or flats. I need to get my stuff out. I don’t want Shane to have to see it and I’m not going back there. Can’t stay at Marie’s forever.”

“Do you want some help?”

“Really?” Ben looked up at him.

“Yeah, course, I love a bit of house hunting. And I hope one day I get to visit, so it would be nice to know what I’m letting myself in for!” Callum smiled.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Look, here’s my laptop, why don’t you start having a look and I’ll put the kettle on?” Callum said as he got off the sofa and walked towards the kitchen. Relief flooding his body as he finally felt that there was something that he could do to help. A way of spending time with Ben without the complications of their feelings, and the hurt that this had caused Shane along the way.

Callum returned holding 2 mugs to find a smiling Ben. 

“Ok, so I’ve found 3 that I can view tomorrow at lunchtime, if you can do that?”

“Yep, no problem. I’ve got no meetings tomorrow so I was going to work from home anyway, so put them in whenever and I’ll be there.”

The first flat on the list was a total no. They had claimed it was 2 bedrooms, more like 2 bedroom and a cupboard and it smelt funny, musty and mouldy. After 2 minutes there Callum was practically dragging Ben out of the door, there was no way he was living there.

The next property was a 2 bed furnished house, with a cute garden. It wasn’t massive, a little kitchen with a living room/dining area, but it had 2 nice sized bedroom and was south facing so the sun was pouring through giving it such a glow of light.

“Well?” Callum turned to Ben, “I think it’s nice, what do you reckon?”

“I think it’s perfect.” Ben smiled, turning to the estate agent. “I’ll take it.”


	20. Chapter20

Fortunately the new house was available immediately so Ben took a few more days off from work to get himself sorted out. He fully cleared all of his things from Shane’s house, setting up the spare bedroom in his new place for Lexi and made it as homely as possible. Callum came by each evening after work helping to unload the boxes, he didn’t go back to the old house with Ben, thinking that it was unfair to Shane for the neighbours to see Ben move out with his new bloke. Things were finally seeming a bit brighter, Ben felt better being fully out of Shane’s way now, and hoped that by clearing everything out that would help Shane to feel more able to move on. He was still speaking to Julie every day and Shane was a bit brighter. He had his first session with a counsellor and that seemed to go well, but he had decided not to return to the house and was instead looking for his own place. They handed in their notice and ended the tenancy agreement, they were now fully split.

The night before Ben was coming back to work, Callum was at home feeling confused, he was still unsure how to play things. It was great that Ben now had his own place, and he was dying to start properly dating now, but he still wasn’t sure that was what Ben wanted. Helping him to move in had been a great excuse to see him every day but now that the house was pretty much fully sorted out he wasn’t sure if it was ok to pop by. He also wasn’t sure how to deal with work, he knew that the others were going to ask Ben all sorts of questions and he didn’t really want to be there for that, so he decided to change his diary and work from home the next day. He didn’t want to be in the way, Ben needed time to settle back in to work, and have a normal day, he didn’t want to ruin that.

Ben arrived at the office early as usual, grateful that no one was there yet. He took a seat at his desk hoping that Callum would be in soon. It would be nice to have 5 minutes together before the others arrived. Opening Callum’s diary on his computer, he thought he would see what meetings he had, hopefully they would be able to have lunch but then he saw the blocked out day with WFH in it. His heart sank. He had thought that things were going well, Callum had helped him move and he had seen him every evening, why was his working from home today? He knew that Ben was coming back, didn’t he want to see him? It would be easy for them to find excuses to be together today, whilst Callum was ‘catching him up’ on the app project. Ben’s mind started to race, maybe this was all too much, maybe Callum didn’t want all this hassle, what if he had blown it after all? He resigned himself to his sadness, didn’t want to hurt anyone else, he would have to accept it and leave Callum alone.

By 10am Callum was starting to pace around his living room. He hadn’t heard anything from Ben and he would definitely be in the office by now. Maybe he had made the wrong decision and he should have gone in. This was a nightmare, he ached for Ben, but he didn’t want to do the wrong thing. But then again he didn’t want Ben to feel like he didn’t want him. He just didn’t know what to do for the best.  
He picked up his phone going to his messages. Nothing from Ben.  
He put his phone down, pacing once more.  
Picking his phone up again.  
Putting it down again.  
Picking it up again.  
Putting it down again.

Sod it, he picked it up, sending a text before he could change his mind.

Dinner at mine tonight?

The taxi pulled up outside Callum’s at 7. Ben decided that it was best not to drive as he was too nervous and wanted to have a quick beer before going over. Grabbing the bottle he had brought with him he exited the car and took a deep breath.

Callum was stood looking out of the window and smiled and waved as he saw Ben approach, opening the door as Ben walked towards the building.

“Hey” Callum said, beaming.

“Hey” Ben smiled back, following Callum in. “I, er, brought a bottle of white, hope that is ok?” Ben continued nervously as he followed Callum into the kitchen.

“Thanks, that’s lovely” Callum said taking the bottle and putting it into the fridge. Grabbing an already poured glass of wine and handing it to Ben.

“So, what are we having?” Ben asked.

“Chicken pasta, my speciality, so white is perfect” Callum said. “It’s nearly ready, so do you want to take a seat at the table?”

“Sure” Ben said taking a sip of the wine as Callum turned back to the stove and picked up a plate to start dishing up.

“Smells amazing!” Ben said as Callum walked over and placed the plate in front of Ben, going back to the counter to pick up the other plate and his glass of wine. He took a seat opposite Ben and held up the glass. “Cheers?”

“Cheers” Ben said, grinning and clinking the glasses together. 

Ben took a mouthful as Callum watched on. “Wow, this is delicious!”

“I’m glad you like it” Callum smiled. 

They continued to eat in comfortable silence, Ben clearing his plate.

“So I guess you enjoyed that then?” Callum said as he took both plates from the table, opening the dishwasher and placing them in. “Desert?”

“You really are spoiling me” Ben laughed.

Callum blushed. “It’s just some chocolate cake.”

“Did you make that too?”

“Er no” Callum said “but I did go to the shop and buy it!”

Ben chuckled as Callum returned to the table carrying the cake and 2 small plates “Looks great Cal”

With the cake finished, the plates tidied away and the wine glasses refilled they moved to the living room taking a seat on the sofa next to each other.

“So, er do you fancy watching a film?” Callum asked.

“Sure”

“I’ve got the Greatest Showman.” Callum chuckled “I saw it in your DVD’s, but you know you can never see it too many times yeah?”

“Sounds good” Ben laughed.

Callum started the film. Leaning into the sofa, he nervously held tightly to the glass of wine in his hand. He could feel his heart racing, as he tried to keep his breathing calm. 

Ben suddenly sighed and turned to face Callum.

“What’s up?” Callum asked.

“Are you gonna kiss me or what Cal?”

“What?” Callum asked.

“I mean it, I’ve been here an hour now, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait any longer, unless you have changed your mind or something.”

“No” Callum said moving across the sofa and reaching his hands up to cup Ben’s face leaning in “I definitely haven’t changed my mind” Callum pressed their lips together.


	21. Chapter 21

Ben woke up somewhere unfamiliar. Realising that his alarm hadn’t gone off he sat up suddenly before realising that it was Saturday, no work today. He closed his eyes, lying back down, resting his head on the pillow below before remembering that he wasn’t home. His eyes shot open as he looked to his left and saw the back of a head. It all came flooding back as a small smile came onto his face. Callum.  
He thought back to the night before. The soft kiss that Callum gave him on the sofa, quickly became passionate and before he knew it they were naked on Callum’s sofa. From there it was a rush to the bedroom where they spent the night discovering each other’s bodies, before Callum opened Ben up and gently entered him. The love making had been both deeply emotional and satisfying with both men seeing stars before collapsing in an exhausted heap, wrapped up in each other’s arms at around midnight. During the night they must have untangled, not used to sleeping together just yet.  
Ben moved over and cuddled into Callum’s back. He was so warm and soft, and Ben couldn’t believe how good this felt, how right.

Callum awoke slowly. He could feel Ben cuddled in behind him and he ran his hands down Ben’s arms as he turned around to face him.

“Morning gorgeous” his whispered, dipping his head to give Ben a gentle kiss as he wrapped his arms around him. “You sleep ok”

“Hmm, great thanks. You?”

“Yeah” Callum kissed him again “Good. Still can’t quite believe last night happened”

“Regret it?” Ben asked.

“No, of course not. I have just been thinking about this for so long”

“Sorry” Ben said dipping his head.

Callum removed his hand from around Ben placing it under Ben’s chin to raise his face back up to look Callum in his eyes. “Don’t apologise, you were worth the wait”

“So were you” Ben smiled. “sooo” Ben continued running his hand through Callum’s hair “I was thinking as it is Saturday, how do you fancy a duvet day?”

“Hmm” Callum smiled, rolling over and lying on top of Ben, his body between Ben’s legs, his arms on either side of Ben’s head as he leant down to kiss him “What a fantastic idea”.

Callum awoke a few hours later with Ben wrapped around him, his head resting on Callum’s chest and arm around his waist, snoring softly. Callum kissed his forehead and gently unravelled himself from Ben. Heading into the kitchen he put the kettle on and got some bread out of the bread bin, starting to make some sandwiches. He had bought a cappuccino instant mix after his first day lunch with Ben hoping that the day would come when he would need it, delighted that it had now arrived, a big grin spread across his face. Ben was here in his bed and last night and this morning had been incredible. Everything he had dreamed about and more. He wanted to pinch himself that this was finally real.

He quickly made the drinks and returned to the bedroom, Ben was still asleep but had shifted over to Callum’s pillow cuddling it tightly.

Callum put the mugs and plates down on the bedside table and got back into bed, gently stroking Ben’s face and the leaning in to kiss him softly awake as Ben started to stir and opened his eyes.

“Oh, hey” Ben said sleepily shifting back over to his side of the bed as Callum slipped back in.

“I made some lunch. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving”

“Thanks” Ben said as Callum handed him a plate “And I made you a cappuccino, don’t get excited though it’s only an instant”

“Thanks Cal, it’s great” Ben said as he took a bite. “Hmm I was hungrier than I thought, guess that’s what happens when you’re shagging all night and day” Ben laughed. 

Callum blushed as his heart skipped a beat. “Didn’t realise it was going to go that way when I asked you over for dinner.”

“Oh come on, don’t lie, you know that was exactly where it was going!”

“No, really I didn’t, I just wanted to see you.”

“And?” Ben asked coyly.

“And, well, I’m pretty happy that it did go that way.” Callum blushed.

“Really” Ben said putting his plate down on the floor and jumping on to Callum’s lap. “Do you want to show me how happy you are about that?”

Ben sat nervously at his desk, his knee jigging away underneath it. The weekend had been amazing, so amazing, he had been with Callum the whole time, and they had barely left the bedroom, only dressing to answer the door to various takeaway deliveries. He felt so happy, but he was nervous. This was the first time that they had seen other people since they started sleeping together, and the first people they were going to see was their work colleagues.   
They had agreed that Ben would go in first as normal, and Callum would come in 20-30 minutes later. Leaving Callum’s this morning had been difficult, they stood in the hallway trading long kisses wrapped in each other’s arms as Ben continually said he needed to leave, eventually leaving 20 minutes later than he originally planned.  
But here sat alone in the office he desperately wanted to see Callum, but also feared it. He didn’t know how to be, they had agreed that they wouldn’t tell anyone just yet, but he was also not sure how he was going to sit next to Callum all day and keep his hands off him.

Callum entered the office. He could see Ben sitting at their desks, his back to him. His heart immediately skipped a beat, he felt so excited just to be near him. Ben was alone so Callum quickly walked over. 

“Morning!” He said loudly, Ben turning to grin at him.

“Morning, Callum, you ok?” 

“Good thanks” he said sitting down, immediately looking around and as no one was looking leant over and gave Ben a quick kiss.

“You’re so naughty” Ben chuckled.

“I’m just going to struggle to keep my hands to myself today” Callum whispered. “Just want to touch you, run my hands over your chest, get my mouth on you, lick you, nip you, fuck you.”

Ben felt a stirring in his trousers. “Lunchtime yeah? I reckon we can get back to yours and have some fun for 20 and then come back.”

Callum looked at Ben with lust filled eyes “Ooh, I like the sound of that. 12 yeah? I don’t think I’ll be able to wait much longer than that.”

“12” Ben licked his lips. “Can’t wait” his whispered.

“Morning”

“Morning Lo”

At midday they both walked swiftly to the car park, piling into Callum’s car as he sped home.  
They crashed through the front door Callum dragging Ben into the bedroom and throwing him on to the bed as he quickly stripped him off his trousers and relieved his rock hard cock from his boxers. Callum paused momentarily taking a deep breath and taking in the beautiful sight below him. Ben was panting on the bed, eyes dark with desire as Callum bent down and licked him from the head of his cock down towards his body as Ben moaned.

“Oh Cal” Ben panted as Callum took all of Ben into his mouth, his cheeks puffed as he swallowed down as much as he could ensuring that he didn’t trigger his gag reflex. Ben’s back arched off the bed as – conscious of time - Callum sped up, his head bobbing up and down quickly as Ben’s moans became louder and louder. Callum’s hand now stroking Ben’s balls, massaging them gently. 

Ben’s heart was pounding as the combination of Callum’s hand and the heat of Callum’s mouth started to send him over the edge, his orgasm coming up from his toes and pooling in his stomach as he started to see stars, yelling out Callum’s name as he came hard down Callum’s throat, his hands stroking through Callum’s hair.

Callum slowly pulled his mouth from Ben’s length, licking him clean as he pulled back. Sitting back on his knees he looked on with delight at the mess of Ben on the bed in front of him. He rubbed his hands down Ben’s thighs as Ben began to shake, the comedown from his orgasm. “Ok beautiful?”

“Yeah, yeah” Ben said breathlessly. “Oh god Cal, the things you do with your mouth, you are so amazing.”

“I aim to please” Callum chuckled. Lying on the bed next to him and stroking his face. Ben suddenly jumped up, straddling Callum as he grabbed his belt undoing it as quickly as he could.

“Fair is fair babe, and we are on a clock, now it’s your turn” Ben said as he began to strip Callum’s trousers off.

The afternoon seemed to drag on. Ben was in an all afternoon meeting with the Procurement team doing a review of one of the major suppliers. After his mind blowing lunchtime he was struggling to focus, thinking about how amazing his evening was likely to be as well. He could feel all of his nerves tingling in excited anticipation.

Callum was stuck at his desk, Ben had been gone for hours and he knew that he wouldn’t be back for at least another hour and then they could finish up for the day. He was trying to concentrate but it was proving difficult when all he could think about was Ben. Ben and his beautiful, sexy body, Ben’s dark lustful eyes, Ben’s little gasps, groans and loud moans, Ben’s eyes rolling back and that happy little smirk as he started to come, and the way he gripped onto Callum as he screamed his name as his orgasm completely took over. The way he lightly snored when he slept and how it felt when Callum stroked his hands through his hair.

“Earth to Callum” Lola’s voice pulled him out of his daydream.

“Sorry Lo, miles away.”

“Clearly” Lola laughed. “You ok? You have a daft smile on your face.”

“Sorry yeah I’m good thanks. I’m er, gonna make a drink, do you want one?”

5pm finally arrived and Ben returned to his desk to find Callum already gone. This was always the plan, it wasn’t going to look too suspicious if they left at completely different times, he just couldn’t look too keen to leave.

“Fancy a pint mate?” Jay asked.

“Er na thanks, got somewhere to be” Ben said as he chucked his laptop in his bag and grabbed his coat from the back of his chair. “Another time yeah?”

“Sure no problem, see you tomorrow.”

“See ya” Ben said as he walked swiftly out of the room. His heart pumping as he thought about how amazing the night was going to be.

Ben zoomed into Callum’s road, parking as quickly as he could and stumbling to the front door which was already open. Stepping in he was surprised to see that Callum wasn’t there.

“Cal?” he called.

“Bedroom” was all he got back. He quickly closed the door and headed to the bedroom, where he was greeted by an incredible sight, Callum laid out on the bed naked, his arms behind his head. “What took you so long beautiful?” he asked.

Ben quickly peeled off his coat and jumped on top of him.


	22. Chapter 22

For the next month or so the routine remained the same as much as possible, alternating between their homes, other than when Ben had Lexi and Callum distracted himself by catching up with friends to avoid sitting at home, he had nothing but respect for Ben’s child and her importance in Ben’s life and he would never want to come between that, but it didn’t stop him counting down the minutes until Ben would be with him again. Their agreement was that Ben would always come to Callum’s once he dropped Lexi back at Marie’s on the Sundays that he had her. Things had progressed and they both now had keys to each other’s homes which meant that Ben would simply walk straight to a waiting Callum in bed.

It was on one of these Sundays, Ben had arrived an hour before to find a naked and waiting Callum and pounced on him. Now sated and exhausted they lay in each other’s arms, Ben on Callum’s chest with his hand around Callum’s waist as Callum held him tight running his hands through Ben’s hair.

“Hi babe” Callum whispered into Ben’s hair.

“Hi yourself” Ben said sitting up, and looking into Callum’s eyes. “Miss me did you?”

“Just a little bit” Callum said, leaning over and kissing Ben on the nose. “Did you miss me?”

“Just a little bit” Ben chuckled.

“I love you” Callum looked shocked, “er sorry that just slipped out, Ben, please don’t freak out”

“So you didn’t mean it?” Ben said.

“Well, yeah, but”

Ben placed a finger to Callum’s lips “I love you too” he smiled.

“Yeah?” Callum asked shyly.

“Yeah” Ben moved his body upwards and pressed a kiss on Callum’s lips as Callum pulled Ben in closer until there was no space between them. They continued to kiss and kiss until they had to pull apart breathless.

“You are so beautiful” Callum said kissing Ben’s forehead. “I am so lucky”

“Hmm, I’m the lucky one. I adore you Callum” Ben moved his head into the crook of Callum’s neck. “Thank you for waiting for me” Ben whispered.

Callum felt a lump in his throat. “I would wait forever for you”

Ben pulled his head back up and kissed Callum again. “Love you”

“Love you” Callum said as he rolled over pulling Ben with him.

An hour later Callum awoke finding Ben still sleeping soundly beside him. Slipping out of bed he put on his boxers and grabbed a t-shirt and went into the kitchen, grabbing some chicken, potatoes and veg from the fridge . Turning on the oven, he started peeling the potatoes, boiling some water in the kettle at the same time, as Ben emerged also dressed in boxers and a t-shirt.

“Hey there boyfriend” he said, yawning and stretching, his t-shirt lifting to show off the bottom of his belly, causing Callum’s stomach to slightly flip.

Callum stopped putting down the potato and peeler. “You’ve never called me that before” he said smiling.

Ben leant against the kitchen counter “Well you are aren’t you?”

Callum stood still for a moment, pretending to consider this. “Yeah” he said smiling as Ben leaned over and kissed him. “So then boyfriend, what are we having?”

“A nice roast chicken dinner, that ok with you?”

“Mmm, sounds lush babe, thank you”

“So are you gonna help or what?”

“Pass me the peeler”

Friday had finally arrived and they were at Ben’s getting ready to go out. Callum had booked a dinner at a posh restaurant in town and they were just about to call for a taxi when the doorbell rang. Ben was upstairs doing his hair so Callum went to answer it.  
The man at the door was pretty good looking. Light brown hair, clearly highlighted, with a stunning tan. Dressed in tight blue jeans and a fitted white t-shirt that clearly showed his muscular body. This man was fit.

“Is Ben Mitchell here?”

“Er yeah, who can I say is asking.”

“Shane, his er ex, and you are?”

“Callum, his boyfriend.”

“Right” Shane said glaring at him. “So can I come in, or do I have to stay out here? I need to talk to him.”

Ben appeared behind Callum “Shane, er what are you doing here?”

“Trying to come in, but apparently your boyfriend won’t let me”

“Oh, er, sorry, of course you can come in” Callum said stepping aside as Shane walked in straight past him. He couldn’t help but notice his tight ass and bulging thighs. Ben had left him for me? Callum thought, insecurity pulsing through his mind, how had that happened? He must not have looked like this before, how could he possibly compete with this.  
Shane sat down on the sofa, looking around with an air of owning the place and Ben came and stood next to Callum. Knowing him so well he placed a loving hand in Callum’s and squeezed Callum’s hand tightly. Callum immediately felt himself relax into Ben’s touch.

“So Shane, how um are you?”

“I’m great, feeling amazing actually thanks. And you! Well, isn’t this a sweet little place?”

“Hmm, so what can we do for you?” Ben said, trying his best not to glare.

“Well, a couple of things actually. The electric company have refused to accept our final metre readings from our place” He deliberately emphasised the ‘our’ in this as he saw Callum visibly flinch.

“And I have a box of our things, you know reminders of our love and I just wanted to know how much of it you want to keep?” He asked with his eyes on Callum.

“So what is the problem with the bill?”

“They think that the reading should be higher, sent me a bill for another £20”

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket “Ok, that’s easily solved I’ve just transferred you the £20 so you can pay it. And the other thing?”

“How much of our love” He said again staring directly at Callum “do you want?”

“What do you mean?” Ben asked, squeezing Callum’s hand again.

“Well you know, pics and memento’s, lots of little things that we bought together.”

“It’s fine Shane you can keep all of that if you like.”

“Well no, I don’t want to keep it all that’s hardly fair.”

“I ended things, so that is all your stuff as far as I am concerned, you can do what you like with it, keep it or not, honestly I really do not mind.” Ben said calmly.

Shane flicked a hand through his hair. “Well fine, I thought our relationship meant something to you, but clearly not, since you have moved on with him”

“Shane” Ben sighed. “Of course it did, but that is in the past now isn’t it? We have both moved on, and you are looking great” Callum stiffed beside him. “Happy, healthy, great and I am happy for you”

“Good to know” Shane said smiling sweetly at Ben.

“But” Ben said firmly. “I think it is good for us to leave things in the past, as we have both moved on yeah?”

“Fine” Shane said, standing up from the sofa and flouncing out of the room heading towards the front door, “but don’t forget Ben” he said turning back as he stepped out into the street, “if you change your mind, just give me a call.”

The restaurant was heaving as Callum confirmed their booking with the waitress and they were taken to their seats. Since Shane had left earlier there was a strange atmosphere between them. Ben was worried. The taxi ride into town had been silent and Callum had sat far away in the corner of the seat, arms folded and eyes looking out of the window, and as Ben paid the driver Callum had headed in without him.  
Now they were seated, Callum used the menu to create another wall, hiding behind it as he pretended to be preoccupied with choosing his food.

“I know what you are doing”

“What?” Callum said, peering over the menu. “Choosing my food?”

“No, putting up a wall between us”

“Just choosing my food”

“I love you Callum”

“I know”

“Well I think you need to hear it again. I love you. I know that Shane has buffed himself up, but he could look like Chris Hemsworth and I would still want you.”

Callum blushed, looking down at the table.

“And as for that items from our love bollocks, come on baby, you know I didn’t love him and he didn’t love me. But I love you. So much. You mean everything to me. He’s being spiteful, it is actually one of the many qualities about him that I found highly unattractive, that and his clinginess and you know that he was totally boring.”

Callum smiled shyly.

“Oh and he may have some muscles now, but I still don’t fancy him, never did, never will. Now you on the other hand” Ben said as he moved him foot into Callum’s crotch making him jump. “I want to jump you all the time, can never get enough. You are the sexiest man alive, gorgeous, hot, beautiful…”

“Alright, alright, I hear you” Callum said finally looking up at Ben “you like me”

“Like you, huh!” Ben scoffed. “You know it runs much, much deeper than that. I think you are the fittest guy alive. And you are mine” he said eyes shining. “All mine.”  
Ben paused.

“So, now that is over with, what are we eating tonight” Ben said putting his menu on the table. “You know what I want, order for me” He said eyes sparkling.

“Really?”

“Yep, but you better get it right!” Ben giggled. “I don’t want to be left unsatisfied.

“Oh I’m sure I can satisfy you.”

“I’m sure you can”


	23. Chapter 23

Callum’s palms were sweating, he was sitting on the sofa in Ben’s living room, his right knee jigging up and down. He had already changed 3 times, and had now settled on a pair of light blue skinny jeans, and a casual blue and green checked shirt. Today was the day he was meeting Lexi and he was terrified.  
Ben had told him so much about his 8 year old daughter. How bright and full of energy she was, as well as being the light of him light. He was mad about Ben, couldn’t imagine his life without Ben, his future without Ben, he meant everything to him. But what if Lexi hated him, what would that mean for them then? Just thinking about it made his eyes fill with tears. He felt sick, his heart was racing. He stood up and started pacing around.

Ben had gone to get Lexi from Marie’s. It wasn’t his usual weekend, but Marie had agreed that he could have Lexi for a few hours that Saturday afternoon so that she could meet Callum and then she would go home. He was also feeling nervous, he so wanted them to get along, he didn’t even want to think about what life would be like if they didn’t, but he was pretty sure they would be ok. He had told Callum what Lexi was like, how she was a sassy little madam but Callum could handle Ben so he was quietly hopeful that he could handle Lexi.

Ben was busy talking to Marie in the kitchen as Lexi wasn’t quite ready yet, she was excited to meet daddy’s new friend, as she had never really taken to Shane. He had always been nice enough to her, but she had never got to spend time with Ben on her own, he had always insisted on being there, and everything was always about what he wanted. She had known that her dad had met someone else, but she was still able to spend every other weekend with him, this new man, Callum, didn’t seem to mind Ben being with Lexi at all. Her dad always seemed so much happier now, more relaxed and their time together was always doing fun things, he never had the time to do fun things when Shane was about as he would either get bored or jealous.

“I’m ready” Lexi announced as she arrived in the kitchen. Ben was sitting at the table with his back to the door. Turning round to face his daughter a smile went straight across his face. She was standing in the doorway dressed to the nines. A beautiful purple party dress, with matching shoes, and handbag, she had even put her glitter makeup on, so her cheeks were all sparkly and her hair was up in a high ponytail.

“Wow, baby, you look smashing! A bit much though don’t you think?”

“No, daddy, Callum is your special friend and I want him to be mine too. You’ve got to dress up for your friends haven’t you?”

“You sure have sweetheart” Marie said smiling, “and you look fab, I’m sure Callum will love it! But…” Marie wandered over to Lexi taking the wand that was behind her back “I think that perhaps this, can stay at home this time, ok?”

“Ok mummy” Lexi giggled. “Come on daddy, let’s go!”

Ben pulled into his road, he could see Callum looking out of the window looking anxious. He got out of the car smiling at him, as Lexi jumped out and starting running towards the door.   
“Hang on Lex”

“Come on, dad” she said impatiently.

Callum strolled over to the door, his hand on the handle he took a deep breath before he opened the door. “Hi Callum, I’m Lexi” the blonde smiling girl said holding out her hand for Callum to take “I’m so happy to meet you”. 

Callum’s head was spinning, Lexi was a total whirlwind already. She had flounced past him into the house, sitting straight down on the sofa and insisting that he sit next to her. From then on she proceeded to ask him a ton of questions. Where he had met her dad? Where he grew up? Did he have any brothers or sisters? She wanted a sister, but her mum hadn’t given her one yet, what was his favourite colour? What was his favourite food? And on and on, until eventually Ben had made her stop. She had brought a couple of things that she wanted to show him. Inside her bag she produced a small doll, a favourite from her dolls house called Maggie that he had to hold, “lovely” and she also had brought 2 of her favourite gel pens, yelling at Ben to get some paper so that they could draw something together. 

Callum was overwhelmed, but happy as he drew out a picture of a house and a poor attempt at a lion “It’s ok, I’m sure you will get better at it”, which Lexi was going to colour in. Ben temporarily saving Callum by dragging him into the kitchen to help him make a drink whilst Lexi was momentarily distracted.

“You’re doing great babe” Ben whispered to him.

“Yeah?” Callum whispered back.

“Yeah totally. Look at her, she doesn’t just draw with anyone you know.” Ben said, giving Callum a soft peck on the lips. “Sorry about the 20 questions, she’s just excited”

“That’s ok” Callum chuckled.

“Look, we’ll have these then I’ll take her back. We’ll ease in gently yeah? You must be knackered, and Marie is taking her to the cinema in a bit”

“Ok”

Getting Lexi back in the car, proved to be more of a challenge than either man had anticipated.   
“But I want to stay here with you and Callum” she pouted.

“I know baby, but mum has some fun things planned this afternoon, you know that.”

“But I’ve only just met Callum, and there is so much more I want to tell him.”

“Well, how about when you are here next weekend Callum comes by? Then you can tell him?” Ben said, looking questioningly at Callum.

“I’d love that Lexi” Callum said, smiling at the little girl. “But I think that your mum is waiting for you.”

“Hmm.” Lexi said standing up. “But I’ll see you next week?” she looked directly at Callum.

“Yes, next week”

“Ok then” she said, going over to Callum and wrapping her arms around his waist to give him a hug. Callum froze and then gently bent down to put his arms around her. 

“See ya then Lexi” he said, a lump in his throat.

“Come on then trouble” Ben said, heading towards the door.

Lexi piled into the house, finding Marie in the kitchen.   
“Mummy, he’s so tall, and nice and fun, and he said that I can see him next weekend, and we did drawing, and he has one brother and no sisters, and his brother is older and he is called Stuart”

“So she had a good time then?” Marie chuckled at Ben, him nodding back.

“And he works with daddy and that is where he met daddy, but he didn’t say when they met, I’ll have to ask him next week, he going to come over next week so we can play more then…”

“That’s amazing Lex, so you had a good time? You like him?”

“He’s great.”

Ben arrived back to find Callum lying on the sofa, he was fast asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really not sure about this chapter, but I thought I would be brave and post it.  
> Thank you for reading. Happy Sunday everyone :-)

“It’s a wedding rehearsal babe. I promised I would go, he’s my oldest friend, we only have to sit in the congregation and I want you to come, meet everyone” Callum said. They were in bed, Ben lying on his naked chest, Callum running his hands through Ben’s hair. “They know all about you, it would be weird if you weren’t there. And anyway Johnny is bringing his new bloke, so I would be the only one going alone, and I want my other half there. Come on please…”

“It just seems like a big event for a first meeting that’s all.” Ben said. “I don’t think that your mate Lee wants some random coming”

“Ben you are my boyfriend, not a random” Callum sighed. “But you know if you don’t want to come then that’s fine.”

Ben sat up looking at Callum. “You want me to come, so I’ll come, but it’s just…”

“You don’t need to be nervous Ben, they know how much you mean to me, they’ll love you. After all” Callum said pulling Ben in closely to him for a kiss “you are beautiful, and gorgeous” he said, then giving him another kiss “and lovely, and funny, and sexy as, what’s not to love eh?”

“Well, when you put it like that” Ben said climbing on to Callum, and starting to kiss his neck, breathing hot breath on Callum’s skin “how can I refuse?”

Callum drove into the church car park, Ben still shifting nervously in the passenger seat beside him. Parking the car and turning off the ignition he turned to face Ben.   
“Ready?” Callum smiled.

“As I’ll ever be I guess.”

“Come on gorgeous” Callum said opening the car door and getting out, he stood in front of it with his hand out as Ben stepped out as well, putting his hand into Callum’s waiting one, Callum giving his hand a soft squeeze.

As they entered the church the families were all stood together chatting, Ben took a deep breath as Callum walked him down the aisle towards them.

“Ah, here he is! Alright Cal?” Lee said smiling at him. “And this is your Ben then I suppose? I’m Lee” he added as they approached, putting his hand out. Ben dropped Callum’s hand to shake Lee’s. “Nice to meet you, er, congratulations.”

“Cheers, yeah, nice to meet you too, this is my Ebony, the wife to be” Lee said referring to the beautiful girl stood next to him.   
“Hi” she said smiling. “We’ve heard so much about you, it’s great to meet you, I’ve never seen Cal so happy”  
Ben blushed as Lee quickly moved on. “And er, me dad Mick, me mum Linda” both of whom said hello, “and Eb’s mum Maz and step-dad Frank” and then he quickly turned back to the vicar. “The vicar Tom” who waved.

“Where’s Johnny?” Callum asked, noticing that Lee’s brother wasn’t there.  
“Running late, he’s er bringing that new bloke of his, what’s his name again? Can’t remember. Anyway he’s dead excited about it, none of us have met him yet, so you won’t be the new guy in a mo Ben” Lee chuckled. Whispering to them both he carried on “Think the vicar’s a bit annoyed though, it’s his wedding anniversary and he’s supposed to be going out for dinner, so we’re in the bad books, but you know what our J’s like!”

The church door suddenly swung open as Johnny came running in shouting “We’re here, we’re here, sorry, sorry” pulling a tanned, blonde, buff looking guy behind him. Breathlessly reaching the rest of the group. “Let’s get going shall we?”

“Great, let’s take our places then” the vicar started as Ben and Callum stood silently looking at the man holding Johnny’s hand and smirking at them, the man who was Ben’s ex Shane.

“What are you doing here?” Ben whispered. He was sitting in a pew with Callum one side of him holding his hand tightly, Shane sat the other side.

“It’s a family event, my boyfriend’s family event. What are you doing here?” Shane whispered back.

“Lee is Callum’s oldest friend. Look it doesn’t matter, we used to go out, but we don’t anymore, it’s not a big deal.”

“We lived together and were in love, it was a big deal.” Shane said firmly.

Ben sighed “Look this has nothing to do with either of us, it’s Lee’s wedding and it is important to Callum and Johnny, so let’s just leave all that in the past.” Ben turned back to watching Lee and Ebony, he could feel the tension radiating off Callum, this was nightmare.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride, you kiss, everyone claps and then you turn and walk back down the aisle. Ok?” The vicar said.

“Need to get going huh vic?” Lee said.

“Whatever gave you that idea?” He said. “But yeah, unless of course there are any questions?”

“I don’t think so” Ebony replied. “Aw babe look” she said to Lee, looking at both sets of sobbing parents. 

“Pub time I reckon” Lee said, “Tom needs to lock up, Halfway you coming too?”

“Er, yeah sure, we can come for one” Callum said nervously.

Back in the car, Callum sighed placing his forehead against the steering wheel. “I can’t believe this, what the hell is he doing here? Johnny will flip when he finds out you used to go out with him. He’s always so insecure when it comes to guys. That Shane better not be up to anything.”

“Cal, babe, he didn’t know that we would be here, what could he be up to?”

“I dunno, it’s just, I have a bad feeling about this.” Callum continued as Shane and Johnny came out of the church, pausing outside and having an over the top kiss “It’s like he keeps appearing at the weirdest times. I just think he wants you back.”

“No I don’t think so, look at them” Ben said pointing at the display of affection “he’s moved on finally, this is a good thing.”

“Just seems a bit over the top don’t you think?” Callum continued as they finally pulled apart and Shane looked directly at Ben. “Yeah, he’s really over you” Callum said sharply, putting on his seat belt “Look let’s just go for a quick drink yeah, then we’ll get out of there.”

“Cal” Ben said, touching Callum’s hand “he is my past, I can’t change that, but you are my future. I love you”

“I know Ben, I know…” Callum said turning on the engine and driving out of the car park.

At the pub, the group had grabbed a table as Ben and Callum walked in, heading to the bar, they ordered 2 small cokes. Back at the table they took a seat next to each other as Johnny and Shane walked in, Shane immediately grabbing a chair from another table and squeezing in next to Ben. “Room for a small one I hope” he winked at Ben. Callum visibly stiffened in his seat, Ben lightly stroking his thigh.  
Johnny returned back from the bar carrying 2 pints and sat the other side of Shane, handing 1 to him. 

“So Shane” Mick began, “tell us all about yourself son”

“Well,” Shane said. “I have a little girl who’s 8 years old, light of my life. I’ve been off work for a bit it’s been a rough few months, got treated badly by an ex”

“Oh love, I’m sorry to hear that” Linda said.

“Yeah he was a using cheater, left me dumped right in it, hurt my Suzy, left me in loads of debt, you know, one of those. But then I met this one” he looked at Johnny, “best thing to ever happen to me, made me realise that I deserved so much better. I’m so lucky”

“Aw babe” Johnny said smiling at him.

Ben felt sick listening to this. Callum placed a hand over Ben’s hand on his thigh, gently rubbing it.

“You are so much better off away from people like that love” Linda continued. “I’m sure karma will catch up with him, and you are welcome in our family.” She smiled at him warmly.

Shane turned to face Ben. “So Ben is it? J mentioned you, nice to meet you mate.”

Ben looked at Shane, he wanted to explode. “Yep, great to meet you too.” He said through gritted teeth.

“Er” Callum suddenly stood up. “We er have to go, sorry guys. We er have a thing we have to get to, but I’ll call you in the week Lee yeah, we’ll um, go for a pint”

“Really Halfway?” Lee said standing “can’t you stay for a bit longer?”

“Er no, we have um an appointment to get to. Come on Ben” Callum held out his hand, Ben stood up placing his hand in it. “Great to meet you all”  
Callum turned and walked out pulling Ben along behind him. As they got into the car Callum quickly drove off. “This is bad Ben, really bad, what the hell is Shane up to?”

“I don’t know babe. I don’t know” Ben sighed, looking out of the window.


End file.
